Scintillate

13 | The Beginning

I listlessly slid down my seat as I waited for math class to start. I just wasn't in the mood and I knew my brain wouldn't be able to process anything. I opted for staring at the whiteboard blankly for a few seconds before grumbling restlessly into my arms. I could hardly even think straight.

"Are you actually sulking?" Taehyung giggled, finally taking the seat next to me. "What's it to you?" I retorted, sufficiently annoyed by my own brain.

"Oh my god, you're actually sulking! Was it that hard to do? What did you say?!" I instantly felt his long fingers poking my arms in anticipation. "I'm not telling you," I replied dispiritedly, secretly basking in the tiny revenge that I could get. "Aw, come on, Jimin!" Taehyung whined, pushing my arms so much he was nearly shoving me off the table. "I didn't mean to make fun of you..."

"Alright, alright! Just stop trying to push me off!" I straightened up and glared back at the whiteboard while Taehyung leaned over the table to look at me attentively. "Well?"

"I didn't say anything," I admitted with a shrug while pouting down at my rings. "What?" Taehyung blurted out disbelievingly. "What do you mean you didn't say anything? Why are you sulking then?" He eyed me skeptically, leaning back with confusion written all over his face.

My mind was scattered.

My heart was a rioting mess of everything I was feeling.

I had only been partially hallucinating that day at the greenhouse and the way she had hugged me for comfort lingered in my mind and on my skin. It had been the trigger to me understanding exactly how I felt, and it scared me.

And that realization came along with others. Like the fact that I had put her through enough as it was and that I wasn't any good for her. I knew that much.

But what bothered me from our interaction today was how much we understood each other.

It was baffling.

When did that happen? When did we get to know each other so well?

"Kay, then, I'm calling Ji Eun before class starts. She'll know."

I inhaled sharply. "It's like she knew, Tae. With one single look that I gave her, it's like she understood everything that I had wanted to tell her. I saw the look on her face when she realized that I wanted nothing to do with her." I stared at the ring on my thumb that I was rotating, the acknowledgment in her eyes flashing across my mind.

This guilt along with my feelings would be hard to get rid of.

"I hurt her," I croaked out. "And I feel really horrible abo-"

"You're telling me that with one look she understood you?" Taehyung looked up from his phone with a seriousness that was rare for him. He searched my eyes and face, his mouth forming a thin line by the time he spoke again. "Are you sure she grasped what you meant?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I just... felt it. Look, what I'm trying to say is that-"

"Jimin."

"What?"

What was with all the questions and why couldn't I get a word in? He acted like I was missing something vital and it was starting to frustrate me.

"Do you know how many people can understand each other with just one look? Can feel what the other person is feeling? Can feel their sadness?"

"I assume not that many, but it's-"

"You're wrong. All of us feel it at some point in our lives. Do you want to know why?"

"Huh?" I felt so lost. My mind was already so scrambled, and he wasn't making any sense to me. "We feel that when we find our soulmate, Jimin. I felt that when I reunited with Ji Eun before I got my burn mark."