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"Please please can you hug Jimin please please !" Screamed a fan through the crowd. Yoongi sighed and looked at their leader, busy signing an autograph for a fan.
'It's nothing much, just Jimin.' He thought before walking over and quickly hugging the younger. Instantly the fans screamed 'Yoonmin' squealing and jumping everywhere. Yoongi just didn't know how many fans were shipping them. Unfortunately Namjoon and Hoseok did. Hoseok just shrugged it off, knowing he couldn't do anything but Namjoon on the other hand felt hurt. He knew their fans were shipping one with each other, and he knew him and Yoongi weren't the most shipped.
And as the convention followed, Yoongi stayed close to Jimin to please the fans, and Namjoon was thinking again. He was jealous. But when Namjoon was jealous, it was his own jealousy. He was turning himself down. As he saw all the fans excited about 'Yoonmin' he started thinking that Yoongi had more chemistry with Jimin, that maybe he was blinded by his feelings and didn't notice he wasn't good enough for the angel in front of him. He was selfish though, he didn't want to lose Yoongi.
The fans examine everything and if they thought Jimin was better for Yoongi, maybe they were right.
Although, he kept smiling and acting good without effort because after all the breakdown he had, he couldn't afford to be sad again. So his acting skills got better. They were actually great that even his friends didn't notice when he was tired or sad, except Yoongi who knew him by heart.
Now they were finished and were heading toward their dorm. Yoongi had returned to his original place, next to Namjoon. He noticed Namjoon wasn't well but didn't ask anything, only hoping it wasn't for the hug he had with Jimin earlier. He knew this meant nothing, Jimin was, is and will forever be only a friend. But did Namjoon knew this ?
They arrived and all went to shower, Namjoon first then Yoongi. And after they ate, no one was really talking they were all too tired. As usual, no one notice Namjoon's behavior. He wasn't mad at them, why would he be ? He didn't ask for attention, he only noticed he was good at keeping his emotion and that soon he will not bother them with it and he will take care of them better. He was the leader and his group was everything for him so what he was feeling could pass after.
But it was hard, he wanted everyone to be happy but did it had to break his happiness too ? He wanted Jimin and Yoongi happy but he loved Yoongi too.
"Guys I'm goin to sleep, night." He mumbled, waving them and going upstairs. He changed himself and got in bed. A few minutes later, he felt a body falling in the bed, and wrapped his arms around the taller.
"You okay Joonie ?" He asked, nuzzling closer to Namjoon. For a moment, the leader forgot what had been bothering him for hours now. He kissed Yoongi's forehead. "Don't worry I'm just tired. Sleep well love."
"Mmmh if there's anything just tell me." Namjoon didn't answer. "I love you, good night." And with that Yoongi just fell asleep. For about two hours he just watched Yoongi sleep peacefully. He was mesmerized by the view of Yoongi, eyes closed, smiling in his sleep, sleeping on Namjoon's chest, gripping on him like a baby. He would give everything he had to stay with him forever. But again, bad thoughts came back and he frowned. No no Yoongi shouldn't stay here.
He slowly pushed Yoongi on the bed, careful to not wake him and got out of the bed. He glanced at the clock. 3am. Everyone was sleeping so he wouldn't wake them. He went in the bathroom and locked himself in there. He felt like he wanted to cry, but he managed to not. He had promised Yoongi he would never cry again. Instead, he did like he always did. He took a scissor and pulled out his short, revealing the older scars when he had all his breakdown. You could see things like 'you're not worthy', 'such a bad leader' or 'fag', 'monster', 'abomination'. Scars Yoongi had always loved, saying it was a part of who he was, showing he was not perfect and now just like the scar, it was in the past. But Namjoon had lost it again, he wanted to be strong for Yoongi but, this time, he couldn't. He repressed a scream when he started writing 'You don't deserve Yoongi.' When he was finished, he let the scissor fall on the ground, and sat against the wall, letting all the blood flow down his leg.
