Is It Worth It?

Those Cuts On His Wrists

**LEVIN'S P.O.V**
I woke up in the hospital still. Mom was sitting on a chair next to my bed asleep. I looked at clock next to me it's 10 pm. I had an IV in my arm it hurts like hell.

I was shaking out of fear after that horrible nightmare. I cant think of anything else and I still dont know what happened. I'm seeing hallucinations all around the room of shadowy monsters some with glowing white eyes and others with red. Thoughts rushing threw my head swarming around like bees in a hive.

I dont wanna wake mom up right now it's late and she's probably stressed. When this happens at home I usually have an escape. Only because it's in my own room behind closed doors. And not in the hospital,next to my mom, with an IV plugged into me.

This usually happens after a shitty day at school or after aaron- never mind. *sigh* what I do is i-i cut my self. I know it's not good but at this point I dont care about my health.

Yes of course it hurts but that's kinda the point. School is overwhelming and home is hell. And when I wanna get all of my emotions out I just...*sigh*.

I wonder if the nurse noticed I hope she didn't blame my mom or jump conclusions. None of this is moms fault she's just trying to help. But for tonight I'm stuck with nightmares, hallucinations, rushing thoughts, and no escape for any of it. Why me? I guess I'll just try to sleep for now.

**THE NEXT MORNING**
Yeah.. I didn't sleep AT ALL last night. I'm exhausted but I dont wanna go to sleep. Momma just woke up so I'm happy about that.

"*yawn* oh,! good morning baby! I'm so glad to see you're okay" mom said as she hugs me tight. "Argh! M-mom please be gental" I said. "Oh, I'm so sorry" mom yelled. "Heh, it's okay mommy" I said with a smile. Mom giggled and hugged me less tight.

**APHMAU'S P.O.V**
I'm so happy my baby's okay! I was soo worried. Yesterday was soo stressful but I'm glad to see him awake and smiling. But his eyes they look so dull. Why haven't I noticed that? Have they always been like that? I need to get him a therapist and soon. The last thing I want and need is for this whole cutting thing to get worse.

Yesterday, after Malachi left, me and the nurse were talking. She was just asking questions about Levins health, does he have any medical problems, things like that. She also asked about his mental health. She said she asked because she saw those cuts on his wrists. I told her that I didnt even know. I told her i noticed the cuts and I asked him if anything was happening at school or with him and my boyfriend. All he said was he didn't feel safe in our house anymore. I told her I've never hurt him and I never will. So, it has to have something to do with Aaron. But I'm not home enough to know for sure.

She told me to investigate and see what's happening while im not there. She also recommended a few therapist that I could see. And told me to search Levin's room to see if theres anything there that he could use to hurt himself. So I'll do all of those things when we get home.

I dont know if I want send him to school on Monday I mean he still needs to heal but I can only homeschool him half the week and this week homeschooling is Wednesday threw Friday. I'm so stressed I just want the best for my sweet baby boy. He has done nothing wrong to deserve any of this pain. But, I have to stay strong for him.

And, when when we get home AARON IS GONNA GET IT THIS TIME!

***FIND OUT MORE IN PT 10 (I think)***
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Sorry it was kinda rushed.