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me preparing for my national exams made me like this ^^ lol here's an update
btw i was listening to bebe rexha'sim a mess while writing this sooo...
maybe tae's inner personality can be linked to the song? yup
oh and i wrote everything in one go, so it might not make any sense heh
Despite his bubbly personality, Taehyung found it very hard to express his inner feelings.
It's an inner struggle with himself, he wants to speak up for himself instead of just pushing everyone away and speaking harshly as if he wasn't smiling a moment ago. This happens with Hoseok a lot, the man who understands him the most, maybe slightly more than Jimin?
Taehyung sniffles softly, eyes red and swollen from crying himself to sleep. Mingyu glances at him before looking back down at his smartphone's screen where he was texting his husband, his free hand holding Taehyung's comfortably.
"I'm sorry that I asked you to stay with m-me."
Mingyu puts away his phone and flashes a small, reassuring smile as he cups Taehyung's hands in his lap, "I'd rather you come to me than seeing you suffering in silence, hyung."
"Is Wonwoo hyung fine with this? I know my smell is sticking to you and we're not mated to each other so it's very wrong-"
"-he was the one who desperately wants me to take care of you right now, hyung. Don't worry, okay? We're not crossing any boundaries," Taehyung hesitantly nods at that, slightly loosening up when Mingyu smiles widely.
Mingyu goes to excuse himself to buy a drink from the cafeteria, "Do you want anything, hyung?"
"No, it's okay.. I'm fine here," Taehyung tries to smile at the younger male before going back to staring in space. Mingyu frowns at that and figured that he should just buy a light snack for the omega, before walking away.
It's been two days, and they still weren't allowed to visit Hoseok. The hospital didn't allow any visitors for patients in the Intensive Care Unit, and sometimes the nurses would grimace after they leave the room, so Taehyung has been wondering how bad Hoseok looked after the accident.
The omega sighs heavily as he looks at the door, "It's my fault."
He had already taken responsibility for the accident; apologising and begging for forgiveness from Hoseok's parents who hated him so much, paying for any damage that his boyfriend had done on the streets since everyone thinks that Hoseok is his husband.
Marriage.
Taehyung had always been scared of commitment. He had never told Hoseok about his fear of being tied down, but by doing that it had only done damage to Hoseok himself. So, Taehyung thinks everything's his fault.
He wants pups, always wanted one. But he had witnessed a miscarriage before and it made him fear that it would happened to him. He's a careless omega, and it would kill him to hear that his pup died because he wasn't careful. And all these innocent anxiety and concerns made his boyfriend almost kill himself.
Taehyung chuckles bitterly to himself, hugging his legs to his chest as he hides his face in his knees. He knows that right now he's supposed to be strong for Hoseok. But this situation? It won't allow him, ever.
As he closes his eyes, he willingly allows the guilt filling up his heart, letting himself drown again. He lets the negative thoughts fill up his head, humming to himself as the demons scream louder than the singing of the angels.
