Once Upon An Us (Completed)

chapter twenty seven

The whole family never left my side even my dad's fiancé, she had been more helpful and supportive than I imagined, she was always with mom helping her any way she could and mom never once pushed her away she had been too busy worrying about me to resent her and now she couldn't bring herself to.

Now she couldn't even blame dad for falling a victim cause deep down Amanda, was just a sweet lady searching for love and maybe she finally deserved to find it - love, even if it meant having to lose my dad in the process. They both needed it, mom and dad - a clean slate, a fresh start, nothing to remind them of the sad hard times.

As the harsh sunlight flashed into my eyes I quickly raised my hands up for cover but I was glad, glad to feel the heat on my skin, glad to see the beautiful sunshine once more, I chose to live, I chose a fresh start and hopefully it would be a good one.

I still had no deep memories of Brandon, but I was ready to finally give him a chance, to let him in.

"How are you doing honey?" Mom walked into the room with a warm smile.

"I:m alright" I attempted to sit up on the bed, but I was still weak and in a fragile state making the attempt futile.

"Don't stress yourself dear" mom rushed to my aid, "you still haven't fully regained your strength"

I nodded, stopping all attempt to move my body.

Mom took a sit beside me, she seemed lost in thoughts, I watched her attentively, scanning every inch of her. Her eyes were heavy and baggy, her skin was dry and her look weary, I never realized how much stress I had been putting all of them through.

I never realized how selfish I was to want to take my life, mom already lost one she wouldn't have been able to bear another one, I would have been the architect of my mom's madness.

"I'm sorry" I said softly to her, that was all I could do, apologize. There was no justification of my actions, so I didn't try to justify it.

"I understand you, I understand what you felt, I've felt it to" her gaze were fixed on the wall, she couldn't bear to look me in the eyes.

"When Toby died I lost it, lost everything, my zeal to live, my strength to go on and then the selfish feeling came to surface, I wanted to do it... To take my life and I almost did" she paused. I waited for her to continue, but she didn't it was like she was waiting for an instruction to carry on, like she was waiting for me to press the continue button.

"So why didn't you?"
The unusual silence still filled the air, finally she turned to my gaze, staring deep into my ocean blue eyes more worried than curious, worried about what consequences my actions may have had.

"A certain voice called out to me, as I fastened the rope ready to end everything, you called out to me, you called out to me saying the word mom" and then I looked into your innocent blue eyes and your warm smile unaware of what mom was about to do and then at that moment I realized I still had a reason to live, I still had one person to live for and that's you darling" she smiled lightly and dragged my cheeks playfully "so don't ever make me panic again"

I smiled brightly, "never again" I promised. Never again...

One week later

I was finally recovering, I was finally getting better, I didn't have my memory back - no, but now I laid my guard down, I let the people who loved me drown me in love, I attended therapy, the sessions weren't always a bed of roses but at least now I was making an effort, making an effort to live again.

I was being discharged today, and I was really glad about that, maybe now I would finally remember something, hoping something in the house would help trigger my memory I got into the car with mom and Ella. Ella and I were finally getting to talk more often, I couldn't remember everything but at least she explained the little to me she could, and I was really grateful to that.