boys will be boys ✰ 5sos

five

"so she shrinks

folds into herself, flinches every time a man raises his voice

by the time she's 16 she's learned her job well

be quiet, be soft, be easy

don't give him a reason

but for all her efforts, he still finds one

'boys will be boys' rings in her head

'boys will be boys

he doesn't mean it

he can't help it'"

-

It's Iris's 16th birthday and she's trotting down the stairs to her loving family. They don't know anything about her except her blonde hair and brown eyes that are growing more dull by the year, but she doesn't blame them. She wouldn't want to learn much more than that either.

"Happy Birthday!"

She flinches at the sound of her father's voice in her ear, quickly pulls herself together, and flashes a fake smile. After initiating a "break" with Ashton a month ago, she hasn't been able to shake the memories from her head. Any touch, shout, or grip makes her anxious.

Her smile is faint and lacking emotion and everyone in the room notices it. Her family thinks she is sad, not quite depressed, but sad. They're unsure why, they assumed it was a part of being a teenager. Iris is actually relatively happy, she just prefers to stay quiet and make things easy on everyone. She learned how to fit this mold throughout the years. People prefer a girl to sit down and shut up.

Iris spent her whole birthday inside. She had Luke tied to her hip for it all. It was still winter and she lived in such a small town and had nothing better to do. She enjoyed every second of it.

Her present from her friend was cute and simple. They laid on the couch in her basement all day as she didn't want to be bothered. Endless amounts of movies played throughout the night, but Luke didn't pay attention to them. He paid attention to the white outline over her lips and nose and her knees that curled into her chest so easily. He loved Iris and that was it. Iris didn't love herself, but she was oblivious.

A month passes and she's right back in her basement, but with Ashton this time. Her parents are gone for the weekend which gave them the freedom to scream at the top of their lungs. A fire was burning inside both of them, Ashton mostly composed of lust and Iris with frustration. He was in a jealous rage, still upset about Luke and their closeness. 

Her fists clenched and she thought that she could give him exactly what he's given her, and that's when she stops. The harm brought upon her will not leave in just one single punch. She will need a thousand bruised boys to get the pain out. She knows it's wrong, but for what it's worth, she loves him, and he loves her and that's why she stays. What kind of attention he gave her didn't matter, especially since it's all she's ever known.

She stays quiet as he yells on, her ears ringing and eyes stinging from the dripping mascara falling into them. She blinks it away and in the mere second is struck by him.

Her hand holds her cheek as they do nothing but stare at each other. It's evident he doesn't feel sorry, as he never has. He doesn't believe he's ever truly hurt her and that the only way to actually do it was to leave her and he would never do so.

Iris keeps her mouth shut and remembers that boys will be boys and they don't need an explanation for their actions. Because they are males they can't control everything about them and are simply dealing with things in a different way.

She shook her head as he pulled at his hair and paced around the room, mumbling near nonsense about God knows what. Her foot is tapping and her cheek is burning and her lips are cracking from the cold winter air.

'He doesn't mean it,' she told herself. Her fingertips ran over her jaw bone as she thought about how only she could provoke him so many times and create so much fury.

'He can't help it,' she reminded herself. A hand touched hers and she nearly jerked it away. She looked up from the ground to see the thin smile that he always gave her. It was a routine by now, fight, smile, sex. That was it. And Iris knew no better.