Fractures

2. Quiet Place

- Pink Diamond talks to some old friends.

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The rough stone under her bare feet was cold, but she hardly felt it. She took her time, waving to the gems she passed and greeting them with a smile. The air was filled with the sound of idle chatter, and someone nearby was singing, her clear voice rising and falling gracefully. She felt warm and content, just being here.

Amidst the small groups of socializing gems, she looked for a more familiar silhouette. Ah, there she was, sitting beside Garnet and Bismuth, telling a group of newly-recruited quartzes about the time she'd thrown a nephrite out of the cockpit of her ship and piloted it herself to attack a group of Pink Diamond's soldiers. Feeling a swell of pride and affection, she sat down next to Pearl, fluttering her fingers at the quartzes but otherwise not interrupting.

She propped her chin up on her hands, her elbows resting on her knees. Her gaze slid to the ground as she grew lost in contemplation. How smart and amazing and incredible you are. I can hardly believe that someone as extraordinary as you exists. A faint blush bloomed on her pale cheeks.

The world fell silent.

Alarmed, she looked up to find that everyone was staring at her. Everyone.

She suddenly realized that her pupils were no longer round.

She got to her feet, took a stumbling step backwards only to bump into a wall. A chill fell over her, the world growing dark.

Rose...

They were surrounding her, their hands reaching out to tear her apart.

We trusted you, Rose...

A hundred, thousand voices droned together.

"I'm sorry!"

We believed in you...

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"

They clutched at her dress, pulled at her hair, smothered her.

But it was all just a game...

"No! That's not true! I-I-"

Words filled her throat, meaningless, rambling words. Their faces were devoid of emotion, their eyes hollow and dead.

She touched them, wanting to push them away, wanting to hold them tight to her. Beneath her fingers, Pearl crumbled to dust. Like a tidal wave, they all did.

YOU KILLED US, ROSE

And everything was pink, pink and too bright and too close and suffocating.

---

Her scream resonated for what seemed like hours, bouncing off the walls of her too-small room.

She shivered violently, curled into a tiny ball on the hard pink floor as she sobbed.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry"

She saw them, all their faces, how terrified and dignified and utterly betrayed they were. All except Pearl, who had looked at her with love, even as her form came apart.

Her hand snapped to the diamond embedded in her stomach. Their screams were all she could hear.

They wouldn't leave her alone and they were gone it was all gone it was all her fault her fault her fault she just wanted it to stop it would be so easy it would be hell but she wouldn't remember them and-

With effort, she dragged her hand away from her gem, tangled it into her hair instead and felt how it hurt to pull.

No.

No. That would be so very selfish of her. For once in her life, she wasn't going to be selfish.

She was all that was left. Who would remember, if she was gone?

Who would remember the innocence of Garnet at her birth? The way she had looked at herself in wonder when Rose Quartz told her she was the answer?

Who would remember Pearl's blush when she had confessed that she had been thinking her own thoughts? The way she had learned to dance with her swords and strike like no pearl had ever done before her?

Who would remember the days and nights of pounding metal in Bismuth's forge as she worked tirelessly to ensure that everyone could protect themselves? The way her laughter bellowed out of her when she told one of her terrible jokes?

Who would remember the beautiful organic life of Earth, the clever humans who were so much like gems?

Who would remember the fusions, the discovery of strengths and freedoms the likes of which Homeworld would never know?

Who would remember it all, if not her?

She sat up slowly, painfully, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. Her fingernails dug into her bared shoulders. The six solid walls of her hexagonal room seemed to close in on her.

It welled up inside her, the familiar beast of her grief and despair. She wanted to let it all out, to shriek and cry as loud as she could, to attack the impenetrable walls and leave herself a mess of scratches and bruises. She wanted to succumb to it, the way she had done for over a millennium. Instead, she only let out a silent trickle of tears.

1289 years.

And it still didn't hurt any less.

She didn't have to be here. She was allowed to go out, as long as she was accompanied by Blue or Yellow. She could go with them more often, didn't have to isolate herself like this.

This imprisonment only lasted until White was satisfied that she would finally behave like the diamond she was supposed to be.

How could she ever be, when she knew deep down in the core of her being that Homeworld was wrong?

How could she pretend that everyone and everything she had loved and cared about didn't matter?

How could she be free, when she couldn't talk to anyone or help them, couldn't be herself, lest someone get hurt because of her?

She couldn't bear to be alone, but she could bear to witness the injustices of Homeworld even less. She would rather fall to pieces than become a participant through helpless inaction.

Her gem glowed with a soft pink light. Slowly, carefully, she willed it to go out, to form an image of her dear ones. She wasn't meant for this, wasn't created with the intense concentration needed for this, but she didn't care. The projection was hazy, not quite clear; her practice was paying off.

"I'm sorry."

If there was one thing she was still capable of doing, it was remembering. 

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A/N: Yeah, she's not doing so good.