felicity ✧ tyrus

captivated

an: hey guys (: i'm so excited for this story! it's gonna be a bit slow in this chapter, and you may be a bit confused, but i wanted to put the most crucial parts of cyrus's actual storyline in here to make it more realistic, y'know? i really hope you guys enjoy this emotional roller coaster of a story so buckle up bc it's about to get l i t (;

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cap·ti·vate
ˈkaptəˌvāt/
verb
attract and hold the interest of; charm

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pov: always cyrus's unless stated otherwise.

"cyrus! cyrus! cyrus!"

i kept hearing my name being chanted by the crowd, and jonah.

i was still trying to fully comprehend the fact that, out of all people and especially andi, i was picked to come up to the stage with jonah. i was completely expecting it to be andi. i mean, come on. i've seen the way he looks at her.

he opened his mouth and i was one hundred percent expecting "andi mack" to be the words coming out of his mouth. but they weren't. the words were "cyrus goodman."

and that's how i ended up being ushered onto the stage with jonah chanting my name along with everyone in the crowd. jonah smiling that smile that he always has plastered on his face.

that damn smile.

that's one of the things i adored most about him. he always seemed to be smiling. he was so happy, he put everyone else in a good mood just by looking at him. he was happy in all the bad situations. i guess i wished i had that ability.

he truly was a human sunbeam.

i think that's the day i realized i had feelings for him. the day he gave me a space otters jersey. it made me feel connected to him in a way. the day we hugged, and i was ecstatic. he made me feel something different. something i had never felt before, even when i was with iris. i didn't even know what i felt with iris anymore.

all these days i thought that what i felt for him was just friendship. i didn't choose this. i didn't choose to not be attracted to iris. i didn't choose it. because if i could choose it, i would definitely hot have chosen to be in love with my best friend's boyfriend.

from that day on, i just got more and more captivated with him. his smile, his happiness, his personality. his, well everything.

it came to the point where i began to get jealous. him and andi finally became a couple, and i was watching it happen. i wanted to be happy for andi, i really did. i did know how much this meant to andi, it's not like i was trying to be unhappy for her and jonah. it just happened.

"aren't you so insanely happy for them?"

that's what hurt.

"so insanely happy."

it hurt knowing that i was lying to my best friend. but how could i tell her that i'm jealous? how could i tell her, after just getting a girlfriend, that i was actually gay and had a crush on jonah?

if i told buffy, i felt like i would've had to tell everyone else. just imagining that made me wanna crawl into a hole.

surprise iris! i know we just became a couple but i'm actually gay and have a crush on your best friend's ex boyfriend! sorry! hope this isn't too inconvenient!

so i just kept my feelings to myself for a while. until i realized that i couldn't. it was just eating at me. everytime i saw them. it was mentally tearing me apart. i had really become captivated with jonah beck. and it wasn't good.

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sorry this chapter is so short, i wanted the next part to be separate from this one. anyways, hope you're enjoying this so far! it will get better i swear lol

-chase