DarkWing (Final Editing in Progress)

Chapter 5 - Leap of Faith

"I need to get home..." I spent a good half hour just lying on the sewer deck. There was a constant mist of storm water as it rushed past me with the occasional splash drenching some part of me already soaked. I lifted my head to look at myself. My gray t-shirt sticking to my chest; my beige trenchcoat disordered with small pockets of water slowly building up and spilling out; my jeans ripped, damp and heavy, with a dark crimson splotch covering my left thigh. I let my head drop back onto the ground and looked to my right.

The folder was lying right beside me, soft and soaked, lying in a puddle of ink and water. Seeing it brought a momentary sense of clarity, reminding my hazy mind of the misfortunate situation that I was trapped in. I slowly picked myself off the ground, dizzy and dazed from the blood loss, grabbed the folder, put it under my right arm, and began limping into the dark tunnel before me.

I was completely lost, mindlessly wandering for about an hour. With each step, I felt as if I was walking away from the life that I once knew. I wanted to stop walking, I wanted to turn around and go back, back to my old, normal, boring life, but I couldn't stop. It was no longer my choice. I was beginning to feel like I was... like I was no longer a person. I felt as if my life was being taken away from me and I was being turned into a piece of a puzzle, a pawn in a game, a number in an equation.

I began to get mad. My face began to twitch, my teeth began to clench, my fist began to tighten, my nails began to dig into the folder. The anger was growing inside of me. I didn't even know what I was mad at, I was mad at nothing, I was mad at everything. I stopped walking and looked down, trying to control my breathing and trying to calm my anger. But no matter what I did, my anger continued to grow, to consume me.

I dropped the folder onto the deck, and I clutched my head with my heads. "Aaaaagh!" I yelled. I began jerking my head around, trying to shake the anger out of me. "AAAAAGH!" My hands released my head, and punched the sewer wall next to me. The concrete shattered like glass, and fell to my feet. I pulled my hand out of the wall, leaving a crater half a foot deep. At any other time, I would have been overwhelmed by what I had just done, but not now. The rage too much. It was turning into a blind fury.

I began throwing punches into the wall, one after another, each leaving a hole deeper than the last. My knuckles were drenched in their own blood. The concrete wall was in a pile at my feet with the occasional piece of rebar.

I looked at the rubble, I looked at my hands, but I didn't truly see anything, I didn't hear anything, I didn't feel anything. My eyes were open, but all I saw was some scene that looked like a dream. There was water rushing next to me but my ears were numb to it. My fists were bleeding but I was senseless. My mind was overwhelmed, my senses sedated, and the only thing I could feel was this unnatural hysteria that was taking over.

I began to cringe. I felt the madness slowly chipping away at any self control I had left. Tears poured from my eyes. Blood oozed from my thigh, dripped from my knuckles, and now, began to run from my mouth because I was clenching my teeth so hard. My back was being covered in storm water, while my front was being painted with blood.

I felt my mind begin to slip away from both my loss of blood and my anger. I was getting dizzy, soon I couldn't see straight, and I braced myself against the destroyed wall. I was slipping into darkness. It took all of my strength to stop myself from collapsing. I started shuffling my feet forward.

"No... I'm not going... Not going to die here, I'm... I'm... I'm going... To... Going... To..." My energy was drained from my body just like my blood. I fell to my knees and hunched over. My only goal now was to stay conscious. I sat there, focusing on my breathing, trying to keep my eyes open and see clearly, but I was still slipping. The darkness continued creeping into my mind, unabated. It felt hopeless. I felt hopeless.