How to fall in love.
Step one:
Find yourself a boy. Someone who is everything you ever searched for. He’ll have perfect blonde hair, styled just the way you like it, blue eyes that remind you of the ocean’s waves on a summer day. A smile that sends sparks through your body and a voice that you could listen to for years.
A boy thats too perfect to be true.
Step Two:
Let yourself get lost in everything he tells you. Let your heart open up to him, feel yourself fall with every laugh shared, every sweet word. Cling to every shred of hope thats left.
Don’t be bothered that he hasn’t asked you on a date, good things take time. Don’t be bothered when you see him talk to another girl. Because he will be yours, soon.
Step Three:
When he finally asks you to the movies, grin like an idiot, stutter the word yes and feel every part of your body explode with a burning fire in your heart. Listen to the joyful screaming in your head.
Step Four:
Don’t listen to your friends when they say its a bad idea. Put on your favourite dress and nod to everything he says.
And when he kisses you in the middle of the movie, allow your mind to stop and feel every part of your body tingle with hope, with happiness, get swept up and feel like a princess in a fairy tale.
When you leave, don’t be upset that he didn’t give you a goodbye kiss, or offer you a lift home. Walk the half hour to your house with your lips still tingling. Lick your lips a thousand times to keep the taste of him in your mouth, don’t ever forget.
Step Five:
When he doesn’t reply to your texts for a few days, don’t get upset. Maybe he’s just been busy, maybe something happened.
Step Six:
When he does reply, fell the relief settle in, accept his excuse and move on.
Step Six:
When he asks you if you like him. Worry thats it’s a trick question, fear he’s joking when he tells you that he likes you. But admit your feelings back.
Say yes when he asks you to be his girlfriend, its okay that you can’t stop smiling for a few hours, even when you’re not with him any more. Because today, he did give you a goodbye kiss.
Step Seven:
Don’t listen to the rumours, you’re not his girl of the week. He cares about you, doesn’t he? He has to, you’re his girlfriend. That means something, doesn’t it?
Step Eight:
When he tells you he loves you, say it back, allow yourself to get swept up in a world thats too good to be true.
Step Nine:
When he goes to a party and gets drunk, listen to the stories he tells you. The adventures he gets up to. When he tells you the story, of getting drunk with another girl, listen. Listen as he apologises for sleeping with a girl that wasn’t you. Acccept his apology, I mean he was drunk, its okay. Its not like he meant it.
Step Ten:
When he asks if everything okay, lie. Tell him, “Of course”, and move on. Don’t tell him of the hours you curled up in your bed wondering what you did wrong. Don’t tell him of your fears of losing him because you know you’re not good enough, wondering if it was because you were’t pretty enough, or because her boobs were bigger, because she was more popular, or because she wasn’t scared to put out.
Step Eleven:
With the fear of losing him in your mind, lose whats left of yourself to give. Allow your virginity to be taken away in his best friends bed, while you were half drunk and too scared to let go.
Step Twelve:
When you see him, with the girl he slept with, taking and laughing in the hall, fear you’re the topic of conversation. Maybe its you they’re laughing about, is he comparing your skills with hers?
Step Thirteen:
When he finally ends it, don’t be surprised, you should have expected it, even though that it doesn’t make it hurt any less. Cry your heart out to the friends you pushed away, even though they no longer care, push away your school work, because your'e struggling to think of anything but him. Scream at your parents, your siblings, anyone you can, because you can’t scream at him.
How to Fall in love.
Step One:
Don’t.
