A Gathering of Heroes series: Anhu

Chapter 3 (Li)

I'm irritated. I can't help but be.

I sigh again and fidget restlessly atop one of Huang-dafu's compounding tables. Qiuhuo watches me wordlessly, ever aware of my turbulent emotions.

Just a few days ago, no, less than a fortnight ago, everything was fine. Yes, there were disturbances; yes, we had our skirmishes; yes, we were investigating stupid suspicious presences in our city. But. Nothing out of the ordinary. And now this. Zhang Huiliang is dead and I'm in possibly the last place I want to be in this world because my sister is... I look over at her and narrow my eyes. She gives me a small, sheepish smile, the kind that she gives me when she wants to say, "Please don't be mad at me," but can't bring herself to say it.

I scowl, but say, "I'm not mad at you."

"You should be," she whispers back.

"No. I'm just worried."

"And that's my-"

"That's no one's fault," I interrupt, rising from the table to wrap my arms around her small frame. I rub her back in that soothing way that I know she secretly likes. I hear her sigh quietly and a little bit of that ever-present tension leaves her shoulders. "That's no one's fault," I repeat quietly into her hair.

I never want to relive that moment again, but I cannot forget that soft wavering plea in her voice that night, moments after she relayed the story of finding Zhang Huiliang's body, when she whimpered, "Jiejie, I-I'm scared," and fainted.

"How do you feel?" I murmur.

"Fine," she replies immediately, voice muffled by the fabric. The same answer she has given me since she woke three days ago.

"I see," I whisper, the same reply as always, and release her. I look towards the door, and she follows suit. An older gentleman walks in, dressed in his usual immaculate greys and whites. If it weren't for that haunted look in his eyes, I would think that nothing is out of the ordinary. Flashes of our previous conversations come back to me unwillingly and I force myself to not glance at Qiuhuo as I say, "Huang-dafu."

"Chunfeng," he greets me tiredly.

"Any luck?"

He shakes his head sadly. "Lanlan is preparing some herbs for Qiuhuo up front, but given that I cannot fully explain her symptoms... there is no telling what may happen when."

"I see," I reply, feeling a leaden weight drop inside me. I am unaccustomed to feeling so useless. So helpless. I feel Qiuhuo slip her hand into mine, providing me some reassurance and grounding me momentarily. "So now...?"

"She can go home. I will send you notice if I discover anything else."

"Is there something you are not telling us?" Qiuhuo interrupts.

Huang-dafu looks surprised at that. "No, nothing of importance."

I glance between Huang-dafu and Qiuhuo for a quick moment before saying, "We will leave it at that. Come, meimei. Let us go home."

"But he is lying, Chun-jie," Qiuhuo whispers as we exit the room.

"Even if he is, it is for your own good," I reply firmly. Again, some of the conversations we had while Qiuhuo was still unconscious begin replaying in my head and I take a deep breath to turn my thoughts away. I know that there are many things that the doctor is not telling us. Huang Shenlin is an honorable man, but we all have our secrets. I had promised long ago not to pry into his, and he had sworn that same day that my Family will never succumb to anything that he could cure. I trust him. He has not yet given me reason to think otherwise.