A Gathering of Heroes series: Anhu

Chapter 7 (Li)

I wander listlessly around my mostly empty house, considering, reconsidering, and considering again. Distantly, I think I hear Qiuhuo and Popo preparing breakfast, but I don't feel like joining them. I haven't felt like doing much the past few days, with the memory of the recent attack still weighing heavily on my mind. From what Shunzi tells me, our gang is recuperating fine, but the children are still rather skittish and traumatized. I should pay them a visit. I should, but I don't feel like it.

Before I really notice it, I find myself in front of the doors to our library once again. My feet lead me back here day after day, as if something inside is calling me. I put a hand on the door, feeling its light weight under my hand. It rattles so easily, this door. I remember when Gonggong used to read to me, when he used to teach me to read, I had gotten so distracted with this door, which shook at the lightest of breezes. I was never a patient one, but Gonggong must have had Buddha's patience to train me in all that he did before he passed. I sigh, remove my hand from the door, and resume my aimless walk. As I turn the next corner, though, I come face to face with Popo.

"Chun-er," she greets me, looking around me to see where I had come from. "What have you been doing?"

"Nothing much, Popo," I reply honestly.

"Did you need something from the reading room?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Is that so?" she remarks, walking around me and taking a gentle hold of my arm so that I follow. "I've known you for too long now," she continues as we return the way I came. "I can see when you're conflicted about something."

"Popo," I protest half-heartedly.

"I know you're thinking about leaving," she says, stopping before the same doors that I had been standing in front of. "I know you've talked to Jintou and the others in town about it. I know that you're worried about me and the children if you do leave. But I also know that, in the end, you will choose to leave. And I know that once you come to that decision, nothing anyone does will be able to change it."

"Popo..."

"I support you no matter what you do, Chun-er. Your gonggong would as well. And I think," she continues, pushing open the flimsy door and going straight to one of the shelves of books. A troubled look crosses her face for a moment, but it quickly passes as she gently extracts a book and returns to me, still standing at the door, "that he would want you to take this with you."

I look down at the book that Popo has brought out with her. Wu Xing Yong Zhe Jing Shu (Yang). I slowly take proffered book into my hands. "Isn't this..."

"It's the sister manual to the very first one that he had you memorize."

"Gonggong said that I shouldn't ever need the second one."

Popo looks grieved, and I immediately regret saying anything. She looks away from me for a moment, and when she looks back at me, her eyes are sad, sadder than I have ever seen. "Times change," she whispers.

I look back down at the book in my hands. Times change, huh...

"Come eat breakfast with us," Popo suggests quietly. "And then finish what you must do. If you must go, go with a clear heart, a clear conscience."

***

Qiuhuo knows. I know that Qiuhuo knows. We've grown up together so there is very little that I can keep from her. It goes without saying that she'll be coming with me, as much as I would object. But then again, I wonder, would she really be safer in Dong Ying? The imperials already know that she's here. Maybe she would be safer going where no one would expect – right to them. But if she comes with me... it's dangerous. If what the young man said is true, we'd be defying an imperial edict by not quietly handing her over, and no one gets less than a death sentence for defying an imperial edict. Besides, this... thing worries me. Whatever it is that he claims they share, it links them. He can sense her, Jianning has told me as much. And as confused as Qiuhuo is about the whole situation, she senses him too. I know that she does. And if they can sense each other, what's to prevent those five others from sensing exactly where we are and attacking us? Nothing.