TRENCH

Acknowledgments,

Every 12 minutes in the U.S, a person commits suicide. I'm writing this because I know that the Clique is a close and large community willing to help others with their depression and thoughts like these. Tyler, Josh, Jenna, and everybody else with Twenty-One Pilots have set out to create music with this one goal: to help others and to help them heal.

Dema is a representation of depression. When Tyler escapes Dema and ends up right back there, it's depression. You may escape it, but it may also always be there.

We are the Banditos in this metaphoric fight against depression, and some of us are still citizens of Dema, trying to find a purpose. "We'll win, but not everyone will get out."

Some of us may fall down, get left behind, or lose to our own horrible thoughts, but not a single one of us will go unnoticed. Even though it may not seem like it right now, but there are people out there that will care about you if nobody does right now. That the people that say they care about you, despite never meeting you, will be there when you are hurt and broken.

It's never easy telling someone about what you find so personal and scary, especially when you don't know them. Since I have found out about Twenty-One Pilots, I have also found a fanbase that is brave enough to comment their own stories below the music videos of the songs that literally saved them from ending it all. Think about that for a moment, if someone said that you meeting them was the reason they stayed alive. You could be the reason you saved somebody's life without knowing it and that thought makes me both proud and terrified. Because that means that if you die, you could be the reason someone else dies, and they could be the reason somebody else dies and so on. Every 12 minutes, one person dies. That's between 5,000 and 15,000 people a year in the U.S. alone. You existing could be the reason someone else stays alive. But if you believe there is no one to save, that's not true. You can still save somebody even if that person is just you.

You deserve to stay alive because even the smallest of reasons can be enough for you to push through and tell that voice in your head that it can shut its mouth and let you control you.

Because what that voice says doesn't matter, because it's not real.

What matters is surrounding yourself with people you know and love you.

My birth-mother exhibits traits of a potential narcissist or sociopath. She was the type of person to make promises that she would never keep. And when you would call her out on them, she would flip the story to make you believe that it wasn't her fault. And it was only recently when I noticed this about her. Going on two years ago when I was thirteen.

The thing is, I may always care about my birth-mother, but now that the mask has cracked, I don't see her clearly anymore.

That she has become a trigger to my anger, to my anxiety, and in more extreme cases, my depression. But since I've lived with my dad and sister, I have been happier than ever. Even happier that she has moved two hours away from all of us.

But she was still around long enough to deal damage to me and my siblings. We all see it now, except my younger brother. But even he is starting to notice it all. My eldest brother moved away years ago because he considered our birth-mother incapable of sustaining a proper environment. My sister had a war with depression and is still fighting battles with it and self-esteem, but now she has two kids of her own that she wouldn't trade the world for. And me. I'm a potential sufferer of hidden depression.

What I'm trying to say is that I can empathize with you, even if I'm not capable of giving the greatest of advice. What I'm trying to say is that depression's roots can be as simple as a wrong person.

What I'm trying to say is that you're not alone. When you're happy listening to Twenty-One Pilots' music, you are with your people. The people that love you and care about you, regardless of what you look like, your race... everything that makes you, you is welcomed with open arms.

Because no matter what you like and others think is weird, the Clique is where that oddness is priceless and should be taken care of. That you should never care about what others think of the things that make you happy. In the end, that's all that matters is how happy you are with yourself.

If you're not happy with yourself, you're trying to be someone you're not and that doesn't work.

If you're not sure about what will make you happy, be experimental, try new things no matter how cheesy it sounds.

Look at me, I suck at chess, but I still play it because I find it enjoyable. You can try something like that and it may even become a hobby of yours.

Stay alive, because we are The Few, The Proud, and The Emotional and we need each other.