Death is My BFFLAD Rewritten (Book 2 of the Rewritten Death Chronicles)

Chapter 35: Hog-tied Like a Christmas Ham

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I DECIDED TO POST THE FIRST PART OF THIS CHAPTER SO THAT I UPDATE FASTER. PLEASE VOTE, COMMENT, ADD THE STORY TO YOU LIBRARY. AND SPREAD THE WORD OF THIS SERIES, IT HELPS ME TREMENDOUSLY!!! XOXOXOXO

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P.S- The song attached to this chapter is part of my "Death is my BFF" playlist for the new manuscript I wrote off of Wattpad. I am VERY (understatement) excited for you guys to read this thing! I can say with confidence it's 10,000  better than anything I've ever written!

            Ace's magenta alligator skin shoes clacked against the marble floor as he walked to the beat of an old ticking clock resounding off the capacious library.

"This is quite the display," Ace said, stopping before us to lean against his cane, with its octagon-shaped crystal and intricate designs swirling down the staff. He inspected Dunkin the vampire, who sputtered out a curse at the ground. His pale cheeks reddening in embarrassment. With a sigh, Ace slid that exotic violet gaze back to Death and me. "But I can't say I'm surprised. Now, what happened that resulted in a Master vampire hog-tied in my library like a Christmas ham?"

Death propped a shoulder against the book shelf beside him and crossed his muscular arms. "He wanted to know what Fifty Shades of Grey was."

"He doggy-ears his book pages," I added, earning a look of confusion from everyone, including Dunkin, who had to crane his neck up at an awkward angle from the ground to do so. "What? It should be a crime."

"They ganged up on me!" Dunkin snarled. "That crazy bitch hit me in the head with a bloody book!" He bobbed his head toward the exact title amongst a pool of other materials. "That one! The big thick one!"

"Aw, you got hit by a big thick one?" Death asked, prodding the piercing on his lower lip. The innuendo was clear by his tone. "I forget, was it in the face or the ass?"

Dunkin's silver eyes morphed once more into their demonic infinite back, and his fangs lengthened. "You wait until I'm freed, you bloody repulsive thing! You wait!"

"I'm quaking in my leather pants." With a crinkle of plastic, Death popped a piece of blue candy into his mouth with a bored expression. I watched the muscles in his jaw work as he sucked on the candy and tore my gaze away as his head started to turn toward me. "Don't we have a meeting, Warlock?" Death asked. "The Leach is draining every last drop of my patience."

Ace raked a hand aggressively through his hair and limped closer to us. "Why is it everywhere you two go," he said, splitting his attention between each of us, "la tornade of chaos follows?" He made a furious spinning motion in our faces with his finger to emphasize our "tornado" tendencies and then stomped his cane on the ground. "Brûle en l'enfer! Did we not just have a lengthy discussion about this, Death? Does your word mean nothing anymore?"

"It wasn't his fault," I explained, earning a seething look from the warlock. "I'm the one who attacked Dunkin first, okay? He was trying to instigate a fight, and I attacked him. Death and I ran into him a while ago at your club, and one of his vampires tried to seduce me. Death had stepped in and..." I glanced at Death. "Well..."

"I threw one of his newborns off the second-floor balcony of your club," Death admitted in his low, deep voice. "Dunkin' Donut's vampire was about to rip into Faith's neck and assault her. You know how male newborns are, eager to stick their fangs and their dicks into anything with a pulse."