Iceland was finally a happy boy, away from his mean big brother and living with his best friend (and beautiful boyfriend), Hong Kong at England's house.
They both snuggled on the couch often, and ate marshmallows together with chocco milky. They also liked to eat strawberries and cream while watching happy love movies.
England would bake for them every day. Their gayness was his reason of living, and he cared for both of them as if they were his own sons, except his sons were together in a relationship and he doesn't know jackshit about one of them.
Hong Kong was a smol bean and Iceland had to take care of him, wrapping him in warm blankets when he was sad, and patting his head when it rained and stormed. Hong Kong loved Iceland for being so nice and caring, and in return gave him lots of unconditional love and kisses.
On warm days, they would sit on the grass and make flower crowns for each other, and take small naps together.
Their days of suffering were finally over, and now, they could always be happy together, snuggling until the end of times....
However... everything suddenly changed...
England was baking in the kitchen while singing one of his favorite songs
"I CAME, I SAW, I CAME, I SAW, I PRAISE tHe LoRd tHEN BREAK THE LAW, I TAKE WHATS MINE THEN TAKE SOME MORE, IT raiNs it pOUrs iT rAINS IT POURS-"
SUDDENLY, A MONKEY JUMPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND BIT HIS ASS
"O"
HE SHOUTED LOUDLY AND DROPPED THE BATTER ALL OVER HIMSELF
"H E C KI T Y "
THE MONKEY FUCKING CLIMBED UP HIS BODY AND SNAPPED HIS NECK, LEAVING ENGLAND DEAD ON THE FLOOR
Hong Kong had just woken up from his nap and was heading towards the kitchen while rubbing his ey- SWEET ALL MIGHTY SHIT, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE
BLOOD ON THE CURTAINS, ON THE DANCE FLOOR, ON MY GRANDMA
IT WAS FUCKING EVERYWHERE
HONG KONG WATCHED IN HORROR AS THE MONKEY DID THE FORTNITE DEFAULT DANCE ON ENGLAND'S CORPSE
"kYAAAAAA" HE SCREAMED A SCREAM AND MOTHERFUCKING RUSHED TO HIS ROOM, WHERE ICELAND WAS SLaPing his knees
JUST AS HE WAS ABOUT TO GO IN, TWO PEOPLE CRASHED THROUGH THE WINDOWS AND ONE OF DID A FUCKING BACKFLIP
"H-J-T15JDKAKDJ" He stUTTereD
IT WAS CHINA AND NORWAY, WHO HAD COME FOR THEIR BROTHERS
"hOnG kONG COME BACK HOME" CHONG BEGGED
".... no"
HE GSAPPEDDDDD
Iceland finished SLAPPING his knees and creeped out of the room onLy to fiNd Norway standing there like a fucking dumbass
" . !! . ? " he said out loud
Norway didn't process all that LAMO
"We're here to take you fucks back home" said China
"but.... we're ok here..... we love each other" said Iceland
"uwu" said Hong Kong
"Ew, THAT'S GAY" SAID CHINA
saidsaidsaidsaidsaidsadsledsidsedslaisaidsaid
S A ID
S A I D
Norway whistled and the monkey that was dancing on England ran over to him
"I had no idea you had a monkey, big brother" Iceland did the 🤔🤔 face
"I do now. His name is Furious George"
".... Wow, that's such an original name. Never heard that one before"
"sHUT UP U LITTLE SHIT WE'RE GOING BACK HOME. I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK U LITTLE GAY CUNT"
"YEAH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT!!" SCREECHED CHINA "NOBODY WILL BE ABLE TO HELP YOU NOW BECAUSE WE KILLED ENGLAND!!!"
".... That was very obvious, did you even have to say that??"
".... Fuck you"
Knees weak and arms spaghetti, Hong Kong and Iceland thought of a way to get out of this situation. They feared what would happen if they let their brothers do as they pleased. If only.... If only....
Suddenly, an idea popped into Iceland's head. He whispered it into Hong Kong's hearing hole and they both nodded.
Oh, how they hoped it would work
"..... Fuck" Hong Kong SAID
"Excuse me??" China was fucking confused
"Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck"
"FUCKFUCKFUCK" Iceland joined in on the chant
"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK"
NORWAY AND CHINA WERE TIRED OF THEIR PATHETIC BULLSHIT.
"YOU AREN'T GONNA CHASE US AWAY WITH THAT, YOU KNOW"
But little did they know, that was not the plan at all.
Suddenly, the lights flickered on and off. Then the phone rang.
China nervously answered, but nobody was there...
Then... a dark aura began emitting from England's beaten corpse, as it slowly rose. His neck snapped back into place and his head rose, eyeing both the intruders and the small couple with dark eyes none of them knew he had.
He breathed slowly, but heavily...
" S W E A R J A R"
"iTS THE HASH-SLINGING SLASHER" NORWAY FUCKING HOLLERED IN TERROR
"No, you fucking shit head." China was plain tired of Norway's bullshit
England's profanity level detector slowly rose more and more...
Hong Kong and Iceland were shOOk, yet they continued to shout at the top of their lungs "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK" until suddenly, it reached the very top....
ENGLAND SUDDENLY FLEW AND THREW HIMSELF AGAINST NORWAY, WHO SHRIEKED LOUDLY
" D ONT HURT MY GAY CHILDREN"
China had some sort of seizure and died choking on some spaghett he found in his pocket
Norway fucking choked himself with a noodle because he was too much of a p00sy to handle the situation
Iceland and Hong Kong cheered!! England turned back to normal and hugged them
"Just on this occasion, I will forgive your numerous profanities...."
"HURRRAAAY"
ICELAND AND HONG KONG WERE NOW EXTREMELY HAPPY BOYS!! THEY WOULD NOW LIVE THEIR LIVES TO THE FULLEST AND NOTHING WILL EVER SEPARATE THEM!!! ❤️💛💚💙💜
WOW!! WHAT A WONDERFUL LIFE! AREN'T YOU GRATEFUL YOU'RE ALIVE TO WITNESS THIS?!!
THIS IS THE END OF THIS HAPPY HAPPY STORY, ABOUT ONE HAPPY BOY NAMED ICELAND!!
THANK YOU ALL 🎊🎉👏
*cue the ending song from Matilda*
