The Gift of Nothing | ✓

You'll Never Be Alone

Slightly graphic. If you don't want to read, just skip the huge section of italicized words.
---------------------------

Chapter 12 | You'll Never Be Alone

My life was regular nowadays. A routine of some sort. I would wake up, avoid my parents as much as possible, and then go to school. From then on, I would do whatever for an hour after school, and then head to A New Chapter, the only think I looked forward to. Sometimes -- immediately after that -- I would go home to another evening of avoidance. Or most days, I would go somewhere with the gang. Just lazy around, being teenagers.

It was all regular, but I wasn't complaining.

We were all sitting in the back room as usual. I glanced at the small area, taking in everyone in their lazed positions. It was hard to comprehend that for the last three months, I have been hanging out here, living my life like this. I looked over at Lizzy, who was animatedly talking to Reece about something. I then turned to Kate and Luke who were snuggled close together, reading some book.

"Guys, I'm gonna take a nap." As I said the words, I felt drowsiness consume my body.

"Sweet dreams." Kate smiled at me before turning back to the book.

Little did I know, that I wouldn't be having sweet dreams.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I couldn't possibly breathe at moment. I was drowning, being pulled down by a heavy weight and not being able to escape. All I could see were lights, flashing in pulses of red and blue. The sound of the siren didn't make it to my ears.

Past all the ambulance and policemen, I could see his body being pulled out from the water.

I was trying to find him. He went out in the morning, saying he would be back by noon. Goddammit, that bastard, that bastard. My parents and I tried calling him several times by the time it was two. The line kept saying that the phone was off. So, we went out and searched for him.

I was only thirteen.

I saw a body floating in the water of some stupid lake. I didn't know it was him at first, but when I discovered who it was, I screamed bloody murder. He just looked so-- so lifeless, floating around. Stumbling backwards, I called for help, screaming but not crying.

Numb. I was figuratively drowning while he literally drowned.

He was being dragged out now. The doctor already confirmed he was dead for three hours. Three hours. How didn't anyone see him within those three hours?

He lied. He said he would come back.

I hated him. I hated Theodore Chancellor.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Wake up." I groaned as I was shook awake, forcing my eyes to open as I four concerned faces. I figured that it was Luke who coaxed me out of my sleep, with his hand on my shoulder. I hesitantly touched my cheeks, feeling it moist with tears.

"Bad dream?" Lizzy softly asked, kneeling slightly down.

I wiped at my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt, muttering, "Yeah. Nothing major." But from the way they looked, it seemed like it wasn't minor, either. "How long was I out?"

"Half an hour." Reece answered. The nightmare felt like hours. All of them were still looking at me like I would break down any minute now, but I just got up and fixed myself up. I was broken and I needed some repairing.

"Wanna talk about it?" Kate asked. I slung my bag over my shoulder.

"Not really. Not while it's still fresh in my mind." But I didn't deny telling them. I would eventually, I knew that, but not today.

It made me realize how much I really did trust them.

"Well, were gonna head over to the park now. You coming?" Reece asked, smiling a shy smile at me, and holding out his hand. My stomach fluttered, remembering that I liked Reece Collins. So, I grabbed his hand and walked out of the bookstore with a newfound confidence.

The walk there wasn't very far. In the whole five minute journey, we would randomly scoop up some snow every now and then, and throw it at each other. We were laughing like crazy and smiling like idiots, but it was great. It got my mind off of some things. My hands were numb by the time I threw the last snowball at Luzzy, a deep laugh within me tumbling right out of my mouth.

I didn't know how we ended up laying in the snow, the coldness seeping through our skins, or how we were surrounded by a bunch of little kids. Aside from the bitter cold, the odd looks we got, and the shrill laughter of little kids, it was nice. Out heads nearly touched as we situated ourselves in a flower shaped-something. The moment just felt so raw, laying there and absorbing regularity.

But my mindset had to think of something negative. That even in those perfect, simple moments, the rest of the world didn't appreciate it as much as we did. We had to keep moving along with everyone else. It was sad how the world wouldn't let us spend the moment in bliss because in the end, they were the only things that people held on to.

"I wish life was always carefree." I wistfully mentioned, staring up at the gray clouds. The silence that followed made it seem like they agreed wholeheartedly. "But we're just bruises -- our memories are bruises -- and one day, they'll fade, just like us."

"You see, I don't understand you at all." Reece finally said after the uncomfortable silence, shifting around a little bit. "We're laughing and having a good time, resting on the snow, and then you just think of this. The world isn't always negative, Chancellor."

"It seems like you lack emotions," Kate piped in, "But in reality, it's probably bottle away, careful not to drop and shatter." It didn't go unnoticed by the way she used shatter and not break.

"You don't understand." I mumbled, clutching onto the fabric of my jacket like it was my only lifeline. They knew something was wrong with me, that I wasn't okay. There were too many cracks in my walls by now, and another sign of sadness would bring it all down.

"We know you don't want to talk about it now," Lizzy softly replied, reaching over and prying my hand away from my jacket and grasping it. "But if you want to, just come. Anytime, anywhere."

"You'll never be alone." Luke finished off, "You'll never be alone."
___________________

It was short, I know.

And as terrible as this sounds, the end is near.

--TheGirlWasHere