The Gift of Nothing | ✓

Friendship At First Sight

Chapter 5 | Friendship At First Sight

We all believed in different things. Things that would make us happy and give us hope in the world. We wanted to believe in the most bizarre excuses, myths, even some books all for our own benefit. We wanted to believe that when someone passed away, they got their own star in the sky. Or that aliens did exist or that there was a parallel universe out there. And what made me happy and hopeful? What did I believe in? I think I believed in friendship at first sight, even if there was no such thing.

I didn't trust the stereotypes, yet.

I was thinking about it for a while as I leaned against the couch in the back room. My mind then wandered to the silence. It should've of been awkward, sitting in a room with four complete strangers. Hell, I shouldn't even be sitting in the same room as them. But I knew them for three days so far. I thought about how friendship at first sight took place in my situation. Even though I didn't know these people very well, I was strangely comfortable around them, as if I knew them long enough.

But never mind that.

"So if there's a back room, why did I first find you near the back?" I asked, the question that had been stuck in the back of my mind.

"Well, the first time, we were just trying to get out before you caught us. But you did anyway. The second time... well, we were hoping you'd show up." Lizzy explained.

We fell into another silence.

"Guys," Kate whined, breaking the silence. I looked at her, still trying to get used to the fact that she was in her green and white cheerleading outfit. "I'm bored."

"Then stop being bored." Lizzy muttered, rolling her eyes. Kate and Lizzy seemed like an odd pair of friends. Kate was too bubbly, and Lizzy was too blunt. It was also a friendship between the nerd and the cheerleader.

Luke muttered something unintelligible under his breath, running his fingers through his golden hair before speaking louder, "Then do something."

"Chancellor," I looked over at Kate, "Why don't you suggest something and we'll do it!" Kate exclaimed in the over exaggerated way of hers. I looked over at Reece, who was the quietest one there. I hoped he would get the hint and help me out, but he was engrossed in his book.

"Uh, okay. Why don't you tell me about yourselves. How you became friends and all that."

"Well, we've been friends since we were seven. Popularity didn't matter then, so yeah. But as middle school and high school starting rolling around, we kinda... broke off." They all looked away from each other, guilty expressions of their faces. "We reconnected through this place. Old books and cozy spaces."

I didn't push the story on. It was enough to tell me about them as a whole.

Clearly my throat, I asked, "And about yourselves?"

Luke, who was closest to my left, started off first: "I've been playing football since I was around nine." Everyone blankly stared at him. "Wait, no. You guys know that already. Uh, my favorite movie is The Dark Knight Rises."

Kate went next: "I really, really love all animals. When I get older, I wanna be a vet." I couldn't help but smile at that. Kate was doing something she wanted, helping to save animals and care for them and make them feel better.

I wish I had that much courage.

Lizzy's fact about herself was very amusing. "I've always wanted to be a nerd so I could -- Reece, stop laughing! -- so I could fall in love with that bad boy. Coincidentally, Reece just had to be the bad boy. That was a pretty stupid fantasy, now that I think about it." I snorted.

Reece fiddled with his book before saying: "I don't have a favorite color." I raised my eyebrow, his answer intriguing me.

"He's an artist." Lizzy spoke up when Reece didn't elaborate. "Reece loves every color equally. He's also a brilliant pianist and photographer."

"You make me blush." Reece dryly stated, an irritated expression plastered on his face. "Why don't you go share my biography to the whole world while you're at it?" We all laughed at that.

I then realized that the group didn't seem to care when I didn't tell them a fact about myself, which I greatly appreciated. In the end, as a reward for not being nosy, I told them I liked to write. That just stirred up a comment from Kate, saying that there were now two creative people on the group. I just smiled at her, liking the way she categorized me into the group.

Honestly, it was great.

~*~*~*~*~*~

When I got home, I immediately found my way to my room. Opening the door, a wave of calmness washed over me as I took in the color of the baby blue walls. I cracked a tired smile, dumping my backpack right next to my white desk. I went to go lay down on my bed, the white covers with small swirls already managing to get tangled with my legs.

Today hadn't been a bad day. Now, as I stared at my ceiling alone, I thought of everything that I wanted to forget. Those faded memories and ideas were now resurfacing. I was left to remember the angry stare mixed with the tears of my mother. Like the same way it had been when we found out about Theo's death. I remembered my father's harsh glares directed towards me, his daughter. Didn't he get that I was capable of feeling, too?

I shook my head, trying to clear away those bad thoughts. I pushed back a strand of black hair behind my ear, trying to focus on something else. Thankfully, the phone rang before I could think again.

I reached into my pocket, pulling out my black iPhone. Not bothering to check who it was, I answered in a low, quiet voice, "Hello?" I heard my mother's voice echo through the phone as she said my name. There were people taking in German in the background, but I ignored it.

"Mother." I addressed, a little louder.

"I just wanted to check up on you." Even though I loved my mother, I had no faith in her and she had no faith in me. She probably wanted to make sure that I didn't throw any parties in her expensive, irreplaceable house.

"I'm doing fine." I paused before continuing, "Is that all?"

"Look, about that other night--"

"Mom," I cut off, my teeth were grinding against each other, "You and I both know that we don't want to talk about it."

"You're right." She sounded disappointed, as if she really wanted to talk to me. But then again, we had no faith in each other. We could be liars in each other's worlds. "Just be good, okay?"

"Yeah, bye." I clicked the end button before she could respond.

I was angry and frustrated and I didn't even know why. Getting up, I walked over to my desk, my movements sluggish and clumsy. My breathing slightly hitched when I started to stress out, as if the weight of the world was on my shoulders. My thick teal notebook was neatly placed on the center of my desk, random scribbles on the page I had open. I took a seat, closing my eyes for a brief second before opening them up again. I was running on my subconscious, grabbing the closet pen to write something down. I wanted to relieve the sudden attack of feelings.

I thought about writing to someone, to show them my day to day life and complications. To show them that I wasn't an unstable teenager. But those things were too personal, my thoughts and ideas and feelings weren't allowed to be shared with anyone. I then got an idea, and if I did it, maybe I could find some closure along with it.