Evmor: The Calling

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I came back home, feeling drained of all my energy. I had finally come to terms with my new situation but that didn't make it any easier for me to accept. It was a painful truth and now I didn't know what to do with it. As I unlocked the door and stepped into my house, I was greeted with a stony faced Nate. He sat on the couch with his arms crossed, facing the door directly. His expression told me I was in for it.

"Where have you been? I know your shift ended at twelve today and look at what time it is. It's nearly two! Do you want to explain?" Nate demanded, not giving me a chance to fully come inside before bombarding me with questions and accusations. But I had no way to explain myself. I wasn't quite ready to let my family know that I was losing my mind.

As I walked further inside, Nate must have noticed the expression on my face because he immediately dropped any attempt at trying to lecture me and instead came to my side.

"Hey, what's wrong? You look completely done with everything." He joked, giving me a lopsided smile. But that's exactly how I was feeling. I was slowly unraveling and I had basically lost everything. If I lost my sanity, what did I have left? When he put his arms around me, I suddenly craved his comfort so I burrowed in deeper into his arms. Nate smoothly changed positions to fully embrace me and I stayed in enveloped in his arms, soaking up the sense of familiarity and security.

It seemed like hours passed when I could finally convince myself to pull away. Like this, I could almost believe that nothing was wrong. Throughout the entire time, Nate didn't demand any answers from me and just continued to hold me silently, rubbing my back. I was glad he didn't ask any questions—I didn't have the answers. I peeled myself away from him and stood at an arm's length, looking down at the floor, unsure what I would see in his eyes.

"When you're ready to talk, come and find me. Until then, I won't force you to tell me anything." Nate started when he was certain I got all the comfort I needed for now, "I know you and I know you'll come to me when you're ready to open up." And with that, he gently led me to my room, gave me one more hug and a kiss on my forehead, and bid me goodnight.

I woke up the next morning feeling more wretched than ever. Last night was no exception and I was plagued by the same nightmares again. I was tired from the lack of sleep, tired from crying, tired from worrying, and tired from the questions endlessly circling my head. All I wanted to do was curl up in my bed for a couple more hours but I needed to put up a brave front for Nate and Emilie.

I dragged myself out of my bed and forced myself to go through all my morning routine. Wash up, brush my hair, change clothes, grab breakfast, and join my siblings on the couch. Soon, Nate was off to work as it was a normal working day for him and now only Emilie and I were left. She was planning to go to the carnival as well and reminded me of the plans I had made with Xander. I was reluctant to go but I couldn't cancel on him at the last minute so I was stuck with it. I just hoped the carnival would brighten my mood.

I tried watching TV, reading, going on the internet, and everything else but it seemed like I was incapable of concentrating on anything without thinking of my diminishing sanity, so instead I joined Emilie back on the couch to stare unseeing at the TV. Emilie kept casting me sidelong glances and I could tell she had something to say.

"What is it?" I asked, turning my head to look directly at her.

"It's just, you seem really distracted and unfocused and I know they're usually signs of stress. I don't know what's wrong and I'm not forcing you to tell me anything but really, if you want to talk about it, know I'm here." Emilie said, making sure to make it sound casual so as not to pressurize me. I couldn't help but smile at her thoughtful nature. Even after all I was going through, it was impossible to ignore how wonderful my siblings were. With a small nod, I turned back to the TV and I found I could concentrate a little better. I took comfort in the fact that I had two people that I could turn to for help if things took a turn for the worst.