Jigsaw

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Then I'm in an inescapable trance. There's nothing to do but explore what that is, the creature that's meant to be me.

It can't be me.

Because whoever she is, she has a worm sticking out of her back. Hang on, no, not a worm. A drooping tail. Like a mouses tail. But big. Huge. And thick. And pink. And scaly.

And on top of her head there are mouse ears, but huge, like half a dinner plate, protruding out the top. But not really like a mouse... more like a rat. Because the fur's bristly and brown. It matches the girl in the mirrors hair.

The tail... it's... gross. Yet intriguing. Reality comes crashing in when I reach down and grasp the pink noodle. In my hand it feels fleshy, but rough with scales.

I gasp, unable to look down at what's in my hand. I can't be my. It cant be mine.

Then I realise something eerie. If there are two brown rat ears on top of my head, then where are my real human ears? I'm almost too scared to look. But, completely against my will, my eyes find themselves staring at the place where my human ears are.

Actually, where they were.

I think I'm about to throw up. Oh, no, I just did.

Wiping the icky yellowy-orange mixture from my mouth, I look again, able to stomach it a little better now.

They're gone. They've disappeared completely, leaving only a smooth surface of skin. Instinctively, I reach up and stroke where they used to be. My gut leaps to my throat. It's way too unnatural to fathom. Zooming out and looking at my face as a whole, I realise it looks demented without them.

I stare for ages, transfixed. What am I seeing? Thoughts are banging around my head, thrashing and screaming. But none of them make any sort of sense. I can barely form a plausible thought. What kind of sense can you make when you're staring in the mirror and you see an identical girl with bushy rat ears and a tail.

Okay, is the first thing I can properly manage to think. Okay, just focus. This isn't you.

This is a dream. You're hallucinating from the back injury. Just squeeze your eyes shut and you'll be fine. You'll wake up in perfect pain again.

So I do. My eyelids pull themselves shut, practically glued together. I release the tail in my hand and focus of returning to what I know.

But nothing's changing. The world doesn't shift. I'm staying here, in the fake reality.

I start to grow angry.

Go away! My mind screeches. This isn't TRUE! You're DREAMING! WAKE UP!

I have no idea what's happened to me, but I'm just so furious. I'm mad. My mind is shrieking, and I'm holding where my human ears used to be and swinging my head about, brain yelling so loudly it's too much for the rest of me.

STOP! GET IT TOGETHER AND WAKE UP! I don't know why I'm caterwauling inside or who I'm howling at, I just am and I'm so mad and I can't focus and I just need to escape my body. Help!

"GO AWAY!" That stops me short. That was verbal, wasn't it? My eyes snap open and I cringe. Gabby.

I can very clearly hear her lift herself up in bed. She's walking to the door again.

I'm visibly shaking. I can't control myself. Anxiety's claws are grabbing onto my belly, consuming everything I am.

"Maxine?" Again, a whisper, yet a yell for me.

"Mm?" Is all I can manage. My knees buckle and I can feel the cold white tiles sting my hands and... and what must be my tail. The shock of the tingling feeling makes me drink in a loud breath.

"Are you okay? Did you say something?" She asks in a dreary, sleepy voice. "Before, I mean?"

"No." I lie. Also in a hushed tone, but only because that's all I can manage to get out. Shock and fear and anxiety is raging through me. My breaths at the tiles are ragged and shaky.

"Oh, okay," she says. "Must've been a dream." She chuckles softly, tiredly.

I just stare at the floor. Briefly, I glance back at the tail. It's still there, very long and thick and very real. And absorbing coldness, which makes me shiver more.

Oh, crap. I can feel with that thing. It feels stuff.

"Anyways," she goes on, stealing my gaze and forcing it at the door. Don't you dare enter. "You got a text. Do you want me to pass you your phone?"

"Yes," I say impulsively. The last thing I feel like is looking at my phone. I've just grown flippin' rat ears and a tail!

The door begins to open. My arms fly out, slamming the door shut with an awful sound. It would be loud without my freaky senses, and so with, it's unbearable.

"Sorry," I mumble. For a moment, I'm worried I've jammed Gabby's fingers.

"No problem," obviously confused. "Do you want me to pass it?"

"Yes." Why do I keep saying that?

I reach out a shaky hand and open the door slightly. A small silver screen slides it's way from behind the door. I snatch it, watch her fingernails disappear and then quickly shut it again.

"Go back to sleep," I command.

"Good plan," she says, then flops back down to bed. I can hear her sleeping sounds drift through the room seconds later. What is with my hearing?

Goodness knows why, I turn on my phone. Which is the last thing I should be doing. I should be screaming, or dying, or something. Anything but checking my messages.

Yet here I am, clicking the button on the side and switching on my phone. I freeze. For a hot second, I consider calling up mum and telling her everything.

But I don't and instead read the message that's popped up on my home screen, and, once it's read, I actually faint, right there. Blackness consumes me and the words from the message are all I can hear.

Please do not read this message aloud.
I know weird things are happening. You're likely scared, and that's okay. You have a right to be.
I have answers for you; I can help.
Please come to the attached location.