Chapter 36

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!WARNING!
Mature stuff so yeah...

Timeskip
(I'll let you guys just what happened when YN woke up🤔😏😂)

It's been 2 months since Vorrentis tried to attack me but I continued to work like nothing happened

We were at MusicBank once again and when it was our turn to perform, extra security was placed close to us to prevent another attack on me

My group began to dance and sing and our fans cheered as we worked ourselves, concentrated and devoted

Whilst I was wearing a fake smile and a jacket of lies I've been building up

But no one noticed because...I never told anyone

Timeskip
We were back home and I went straight for the bathroom telling my members a lie that I was going to "wash up" but in truth, I was just cutting myself 100 times on each arm until I couldn't lift either of them to my wrists

I washed the blood off and watched go all down the drain

Is this what my life is like now?

I've been treated as a sex toy, scapegoat, victim of death, and now what? What's next in store that God has for me?
More suffering? Or some way to just let me end it and Rest In Peace?

I heard a knock on the door and someone trying to play with the lock
"YN why are you taking so long?"

"I'm coming! The makeup is a bit sticky for me right now!"

I washed up quickly, making sure no evidence of me was left behind

I dried my arms and face with a towel and quickly walked out with my head down, not looking at my members faces

Timeskip
We walked up the stage to begin our fan meeting

After we did all of our greetings and a few games with our fans, we sat down from oldest to youngest with me in the middle

Fans began queuing up for our autographs but as time went on, I began to feel a bit... sleepy, unmotivated and mentally/psychologically depressed

A few fans of mine who biased me really struck me in the heart, making me think whether it was worth hurting myself
They told me things like how much they worried about me and how things must have been hard the past few months

I wish you guys knew, but if you did, you'd stop caring about us and care for only me, besides... Vorrentis said it himself
"While we've been working our asses off and you have been recovering, Twice still picks you!! Bullshit!!"

"Oppa?" I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at who called me

I looked in front of me and the line already moved up one, it was a female fan with big eyes, looking at me worriedly but I put on my fake smile and greeted her like nothing happened

I held out my hands for her to hold hands and when she intertwined them, she smiled warmly
A homely aura emitting from her gummy smile

Ahh... what a nice smile... I wish I could do that except I've lost the right to do so
My life is a mess and I wish i could start over but it's too late
Maybe that thing is the only way out

She looked down but I shifted my arms a bit to not see my cuts on my wrist which was slightly showing a little
"OPPA!!? WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR ARM!!?"

Everyone pauses and looks at me

I let my eyes drop before fainting right there on the table before my head hit the table
My hands still tightly intertwined with the female fan

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