i wish i could forget you :gawsten:

chapter five

*trigger warning: mentions of self harm.*
:awsten:

geoff drove us to his house.

"geoff!" i'm guessing his mom said.

"hey mom." he said. "this is awsten, i hope it's okay that he is over here."

"of course!" she said.

i smiled and followed geoff up to his room.

his room was pretty cool. there were still a few boxes considering he just moved here, but he had guitars everywhere.

"do you play?" i asked.

"yeah. i'm not the best though." he said.

"you probably are." i said.

"not really."

"so what do you want to do?" i asked.

"i don't know, just talk i guess." he said.

"okay," i walked over to a desk. "what's this?" i found a box.

"no, don't open that!" he said running over to me while i was opening it. it was full of razor blades. i just looked at him with a sad look on my face.

"you can hate me now, i guess." he said. he looked like he was about to cry. i wrapped my arms around him. he started crying into my shoulder.

"i'm sorry." i said.

"i am too." he said.

...

"do you want to talk about it?" geoff asked.

"not if you don't want to." i said.

"is it okay if i tell you later?"

"of course. i don't have to know." i smiled.

"geoff! someone is here for you!" his mom yelled. he looked confused.

"uh, i'll be right back." he said.

"okay." i said.

:geoff:

i opened the door to see alex.

"alex?" i said.

"i warned you about awsten. many times. why was he in your car again?" he said.

"what's your problem with him?" i asked.

"jac-"

"okay, okay. he broke up with jack. that's your only problem with him."

"whatever. come back when you see his true self."

"bye." i said.

i went back into my room and saw awsten just laying in my bed on his phone.

"who was it?" he asked.

"it was, um, alex." i said.

"oh."

"can i ask you something?" i asked.

"sure." he sat up and put his phone down.

"why did you date all of those guys?"

"oh. i guess it's because i don't know what love feels like, and i just need that feeling." he said.

"i wish i didn't know what love was." i said frowning.

me and awsten were talking about random things for a while. eventually, he had to go home before his dad got mad.

"bye, thanks for having me over." he said.

"no problem. i'll see you tomorrow." i said.

hi, i'm gia and i hate myself. :').
~gia
:word count: 440