i wish i could forget you :gawsten:

chapter seven

*trigger warning: mentions of self harm.*
:geoff:

"so you like awsten, huh?" josh asked.

"yeah." i said. "he is actually really sweet."

"i'm glad you found someone that likes you back." brendon said.

"excuse me?" i looked confused.

"awsten likes you, ask him out."

"are you sure?" i asked. 

"yes! do it before it's too late!"

it was the end of the day and i knew he would be at his locker by now so i ran over there.

"awsten!" i yelled

"yes?" he said.

"i like yo-"

he kissed me. he kissed me right on the lips in front of the whole school. and i loved every second of it.

"you were going to say you liked me, right?" he asked.

"yup." i said, kissing him again.

"so, will you go out with me? tonight?" i asked.

"yes, i will." he said.

...

i drove awsten to a park. it was dark so not many people were there. i wanted it to be  romantic but not too fancy. i took him to go see the lake.

"wow, this is beautiful." he said. "but if you brought me out here to kill me, there are some witnesses."

"i didn't bring you so i could kill you." i laughed.

"good." he said. he leaned over and kissed me.

"so remember when you found those... things.. in my room?" i asked.

"yeah.." awsten frowned.

"i'm ready to tell you about everything."

...

"so me and ryan, we dated for a few months. i thought i was starting to fall for him." i said. "he acted like he loved me.. s-so i thought he did." awsten hugged me while i was talking.

"i went to school, people were making fun of me. ryan told everyone. he was acting gay to ruin me."

he let out a little "i'm sorry." and frowned.

"i was closeted, mostly. only my mom really knew. my dad died from overdosing on pills, but he never supported me." i tried to hold back my tears. "so i kept getting made fun of, my dad was gone, and i was being told to kill myself. finally i just snapped."

i pulled up my sleeves to show all of my scars. "this ended up happening. i tried to kill myself, but obviously it was unsuccessful. so that's my story."

awsten looked like he was crying. "i'm so sorry you had to go through that." he said. he grabbed my arm and started kissing all of my scars. "you are perfect, please don't try again." he cried.

"i won't. i promise." he kissed me. we fell asleep cuddled up next to each other in my truck. i am falling for awsten knight.

:word count: 456