i wish i could forget you :gawsten:

chapter nine

*trigger warning: self harm.*
:awsten:

"hey aws?" geoff asked.

"yeah?" i said. we were cuddling in his bed watching netflix.

"i love you." he said.

"i.. uh.."

"you don't have you say it back, i know you aren't ready. but i just wanted you to know."

i smiled at him and kissed him.

"thanks you being the one person in this fucked up world that understands me." i said.

"well, thanks for being the one person who actually likes me."

we fell asleep in each others arm. even if i didn't love him, i still really liked him.

:geoff:

awsten was at my house, but i went to the store. my mom need groceries and i volunteered to go. awsten said he would be waiting for me when i got back because he didn't feel like walking. i loved that boy, i don't know how ever i lived without him.

i was driving to the store. all of a sudden a car came out of no where and hit mine.

:awsten:

i was in geoff's living room when his mom got a phone call.

"oh my god, i'm on my way." she said.

"what's going on?" i asked.

"g-geoff.. he's in the hospital."

i felt a tear go down my face.

"let's go!" i said.

...

once we drove to the hospital his mom went to see if he could have visitors.

"he hasn't woken up yet, but try to talk to him. maybe he will wake up to familiar voices." the nurse said. we ran to his room. when i saw him i started crying. he was hooked up to all of these machines. he didn't look okay.

"geoff." i said.

"i'm going to go see what happened. you stay with him." his mom said.

"o-okay.." i said. "geoff, please wake up. it's me, awsten."

nothing.

i started crying.

"i-i'm sorry. i should've went with you, whatever happened. maybe you would've been okay." i said.

i was there for hours. he never woke up. eventually, we got kicked out because visiting hours were over. i stayed in geoff's room. i just sat on his bed and cried. i walked over to his desk. i found the familiar box that i saw all of his razor blades. i took one out.

"i'm sorry, geoff." i said.

i cut multiple times. i couldn't live without him. if i lost the one happiness in my life, i couldn't do it. i put the blade back and fell asleep in his bed, hugging his pillow. i needed geoff. i think i  loved him.

...

i went to the hospital right when visiting hours started. i went into his room. he wasn't awake yet.

"geoff, i need to tell you something. i hope you can hear me." i said sitting next to him.

"i love you. i can't live without you. i would do anything for you. thank you for showing me what love is." i said, starting to cry. "i know you aren't awake, but, i wanted- no. i needed to tell you." i kissed his forehead.

his eyes started to slowly open.

"awsten?" he said.

"you're awake!" i said.

"yeah. i love you too." he said.

:,)
this may be too fast? but i don't even know anymore
-gia
:word count: 550