Honey And Sugar

Chapter 9 "Dear Diary, I Have A Confession"

"Cameron," he looked up from where he was playing with Sheba on the floor. "You, me, drive-thru?"

He grinned and jumped up as I shrugged my jacket on. "Sounds good."

Justin took Cameron's place and lifted Sheba up, kissing her on her cheek. Merissa turned around and pouted at me. "Can you get me something?"

"Yeah, what do you want?" Cameron pulled on a jacket as well and jingled my keys, signaling that he was going out to the car.

"Anything, surprise me!"

I rolled my eyes and headed towards the door. "Just for that I'm going to get you a small cup of water."

"Destiny!" She whined as I opened the door and headed out. Cameron spotted the smile on my face as I shut the door and walked over to the driveway.

"Are you going to get her anything?" He asked with a sly smile on his face.

"Of course." I laughed.

He hummed, tilting his head at me. "Do you think you spoil them too much?"

The question was innocent but it was sobering. "After everything they've been through? I could never spoil them enough. I'd rather let them have everything than nothing."

I turned the car on and backed out of the driveway. Cameron was silent for a few stoplights, looking dazedly out the window before he spoke again. "This is the first time we've been alone together since I got here."

I glanced at him before looking back at the road. "Yeah, it has. And, even before then, I haven't seen you since-"

"Since before you had Sheba." He finished.

I chuckled. "Yeah, you hit the road first chance you got. Seen more of the world than all of us."

"It's beautiful. I couldn't help myself." Cameron sounded wistful and I began to get curious.

"What did you see out there? You texted me whenever you got to a new place but you never told me about what happened."

I turned into a pretty popular fast food spot and sat in the drive-thru. "I started in Asia first. The smog is bad in some places but other than that, the places I went to were beautiful. I fell in love a little bit with an Asian woman who would always sit in front of a shop near where I stayed. First time I met her, she scolded me because I was walking by smoking. Told me I was polluting the air."

I snorted and turned my head to him. "When did you ever pick up smoking?"

He shrugged. "On the road. A passing habit. She got me to stop after awhile."

I smiled at that. "Tell me more."

"She was the type of woman who'd stab you if you spoke to her wrong," he chuckled a bit at that, clearly remembering something. "People respected her and knew her. She was always talking about life and the world with this gleam in her eyes. Her brown eyes were narrow and just as sharp as her words."

The car in front of us moved up and I followed behind. "You said you fell in love 'a little bit'? You sound like you're head over heels," I saw a flash of a bitter smile before he turned his head to look out the window again. I watched the person ahead of us order with their wild hand movements as I spoke. "You'd ever go see her again?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him shake his head. "No. She was just a passing infatuation."

"Kind of like you smoking?"

"Like me smoking," he confirmed. Our eyes met and the bitter smile was back but smaller. "But not like you."

I clenched my jaw and we both looked away. We said nothing.

We waited until the car in front of us moved and after we ordered and long after that. We sat in the parking lot with the elephant that took us so much space that it felt hard to breathe. Pecking at our food for more than 10 minutes encouraged me to break the silence first.

I inhaled and crumbled a wrapper in my fist. "I knew or, I guess, I know," He stayed silent but was listening. "I had hoped that the time away would help you get over it. I mean, you had been gone for years but," I sighed. "I guess you're in pretty deep, huh?"

He rolled down the window almost like he was choking in the tense confines of the car. "I knew I never had a chance. Don't get me wrong. I'm not stupid or hopeful. I knew you were a goner when you started going to his house again after the incident with Ashley. His claws were in too deep and you gladly let him obliterate any chance that anyone else could get with you,"

"Part of the reason why I did leave was because I needed to get away from you. I needed to find someone new and I did a few times but no one could live up to you. No one could be you but you."

"Cameron-" I began, only to be cut off.

"No, no. I don't want to hear it. I don't need you to placate me. You have a wonderful family. I love seeing you happy and I love bugging your boyfriend because I know what he has. Something good. I love seeing your kids because they are what makes you happy. Please, just please, let me continue to be a part of it." Cameron voice cracked a fraction and my throat began to itch in response.

"Of course," I breathed out. "Of course, Cameron. I would never leave you out because of something like that. Never. You're family, too, it's just..."

"Yeah, I know," he huffed and then chuckled. "Now, I'd like a cigarette."

I smiled a bit sadly at that. "Want me to take you to a corner store?"

"Encouraging my bad passing habits, Destiny?"

I regarded his raised eyebrow with a glance and noted that he looked less shaky. "Only this once. If you desperately need one."

He shook his head. "It's just a passing thought, Destiny. Let it pass."

Let it pass.

I blew out a heavy breath and ate a fry. "So," he looked at me. "Tell me more about the world that you've seen."