Painful night full of painkillers
Do people really care when they ask how are you feeling and why are you feeling it? Is it petty, is it concern, is it what?
And why do we have always to explain how are we feeling? Why does it need to have a reason? Why can't we feel something without having a reason for it?
you're sad? Why are you sad? Oh, you don't know? But there needs to be a reason for that
NO IT FUCKING DOESN'T!
I'm sad because I'm sad. I don't need to have a reason to feel what I'm feeling. And I don't own anyone explanations.
Have you ever just felt so sad you feel your heart breaking for yourself. The sadness just takes over your body and you feel overwhelmed by this weird, dense and heavy sorrow surrounding you.
Maybe I'm just tired. The five hours of sleep didn't do much justice to my mind. The anxiety from the night before didn't help either. I lost myself for slips of seconds various times doing the day. I didn't know who I was or where I was. But just for a second or two. The panic inside my chest during those two seconds was worse and more real than my worse panic attack.
I think tiredness is getting the best of me and right now I'm just sad. Do I have a reason or do I know why I'm feeling this way? No. Do I want to know? Maybe, it would be nice. But ignorance is bliss and curiosity killed the cat. Isn't what they say?
The sorrow in the pit of my stomach make me wanna cry so much and it would be such a relief. It's like all of this sorrow and void would come out in the tears. It feels like it's the only way to get it out. But not a single tear run down my face.
I think I ran out of tears. But I still have way too much sorrow and I'm still full of void.
