Part 3

Everybody Likes Dogs

It all started when a crying boy stormed into the office that morning. He couldn't be older than 6 or 7 years old. But his crying was as loud as a collision between two marching bands, that's how loud it was.

When he burst through the door crying, nobody was sure what to do, until Kirokugakari opened her office door and invited the kid in. She ordered Junko to get them cookies and sat down to talk to the kid.

"My dog wan away!" the kid cried.
"Your dog ran away?" Junko tried to understand.
"Yes, she wan away! I can't find hew!"
"I'm sorry, umm... you. But looking for lost dogs isn't really what we are trained for here – "
"YOU HAVE TO FIND MY DOG!!!!!!" the boy screamed and cried even louder.
"Good job, Furuta, look what you did. Get your ass out of my office." Kirokugakari growled and shooed Junko out, Junko just left the plate of cookies and ran away from the dreadful noise, closing the door behind her with a sigh.

"Don't like children, huh." Ranpo observed.
"Why do they always cry so much? He's like, six. What can he possibly have to cry about? Kids are just so weird, you know?"
"Kids just do that, I suppose." Akiko noted with a shrug.
"I didn't." Junko refuted, "I only started crying when I grew up and actually had things to cry about."
Akiko laughed at that.

"What does he even want?" Doppo asked, not raising his eyes away from his laptop.
"Something about his dog running away? I'm not sure, he's mostly just crying."

"Oh nooo.... I hate dogs..." Osamu groaned.
"I think dogs are pretty great." Junko shrugged and walked back to sit at her desk. "Out of everything humans created over the course of their existence, breeding the domesticated dog is probably the best thing humanity produced."
"Honey, I love you, but your opinion is wrong and bad." Osamu pointed at her with his cup of coffee in his hand.
"You think humanity ever created anything better than dogs?"
"Agriculture? Infrastructure? Cup holders?"
"Well, most of human civilisation pretty much requires decimating the environment in the process."
"How are CUP HOLDERS bad for the environment?"

"I think dogs are pretty cool," Atsushi said, "back at the orphanage there was a guy in our street who would always walk his dog and the dog would chase frogs and lizards, it was really cute."
"Cats can chase things too, they aren't as stupid as dogs. Dogs are dumb. They just love humans unconditionally. They're stupid." Osamu folded his arms in a decisive manner.
"Actually, if you want to mention felines, the proportional size of dogs' brains is a lot larger than cats. Though, if you're going to judge animals by how intelligent they are, you might prefer pigs." Junko tapped her finger on her lips thoughtfully, "or just go straight to dolphins. Dolphins are amazing."
"You like dolphins?" Osamu tilted his head, "you didn't strike me as a dolphin lover."
"I don't know if I like them. Both dolphins and ducks kind of weird me out. Non-consensual intercourse is very common in those species. But with ducks it's fine because they are birds and aren't very smart. Dolphins are social creatures, and they know that it's wrong, but they do it anyway."
"Why would you even know that?"
"I watched a documentary about it once when I was a kid."
"I love you so much it hurts, but you should know that you're the biggest nerd I've ever met." Osamu clasped his chest dramatically.
"I'll take that as a compliment." Junko smiled and bowed her head.

Then Kirokugakari opened her door.
"Atsushi, Dazai, go get the kid's dog. She's a brown lab, wears a white collar, last seen near the Ferris wheel. Out out out."
"NOOOOO I DON'T WANNA LOOK FOR A DUMB DOG!!!" Osamu slammed his head on his desk and whined.
"I don't want to go alone, Dazai-san, I don't know the city that well..."

"I'll go with you." Kyouka said suddenly.
Atsushi turned to look at her, so did everybody else.
"Really?" he asked with a smile.
"Really?" Osamu asked with an even bigger smile.
"Really." she said with no smile at all.