The Real Reason

Chapter 17

Sam was almost in tears at seeing a miraculously alive Castiel. After all, the last time Sam saw Cas the angel had disappeared into a river. Presumably dead.

Then, Castiel backed away from Sam, seemingly in terror. His eyes were wide, and he appeared not to be looking at Sam, but at something standing behind Sam.

Sam glanced behind him, but he only saw what looked like the headboard of a hospital bed. Sam realized he was wearing hospital pjs and they were in a brightly lit room with a strange machine in the corner.

There was also a dead guy on the floor. He was a nurse and his eyes had been burned out. His nametag read: Marcus.

Confused, Sam asked Dean what was going on, followed with "and where are we?"

Dean gave him the recap.

Sam had been having some intense hallucinations about the Cage and Lucifer. Hallucinations so bad Sam had a psychotic breakdown (yikes!) and Sam had been in the locked psych ward ever since.

Apparently, the last thing Cas had said was he would "shift" what happened to Sam, meaning he would put whatever happened to Sam onto himself instead, and that things were "better this way".

Something about that made Sam incredibly uncomfortable, and he wasn't sure why. The circumstances almost felt familiar, although Sam couldn't place the reason.

The thought of Cas seeing his hallucinations also made Sam feel embarrassed, although he didn't exactly know why that was either. Other than someone seeing the same stuff you saw in Hell had to be awful.

Yeah. That was it.

Sam didn't remember the Cage. He remembered remembering the Cage. He remembered seeing a flash of hooks and nails. He remembered hearing Lucifer laugh. He recalled not getting enough sleep. Having trouble eating...

He didn't remember being checked into a mental ward. That part was all blacked out.

Castiel had definitely taken the blunt of Sam's damage.

Sam remembered being scared, although the memories of hallucinating didn't make him feel afraid now. Actually, he only felt numb when he recalled them. Which, Sam supposed, was preferable.

After all, who wanted to remember being tortured by Lucifer?

Sam and Dean marched out of the hospital, towards the Impala.

"We can't just leave him there!" Sam protested, "He's our friend!"

"Right now there's no better place for him." Dean replied, "Every angel and demon thinks he's dead. This is the safest place for him to be."

"I don't like it." Sam said.

"Have a better idea?" Dean asked.

Sam sighed, "No. But...he's in there because of me."

Something about that statement gave Sam a strange sense of déjà vu.

Dean sighed, "Look, I know you don't remember a lot of what happened, but Cas broke your wall. He's the reason you started going crazy in the first place. I know Cas was misguided when he made that decision, but he still did it. And now he wants to make things right. You were gonna die otherwise."

"I remember Cas breaking my wall, Dean." Sam said, "It's my time in ward that's blacked out. I just...I don't like leaving him alone."

Again, that strange déjà vu.

"He wouldn't know us if we walked in." Dean said, a deep emotion crossing his face.

Sam swallowed and nodded.

Dean opened the Impala door, "Right now you're sane and functioning. That's what we need. Cas...he's an angel. He'll be ok."

"But let me guess. The world is still going to shit." Sam said.

"That hasn't changed." Dean agreed, "We've gotta hit the road."

Sam got inside and shut the door. The Impala roared away, leaving  Sam's hallucinations and Castiel behind.

AN: I believe that's about it, unless you guys want an epilogue? Maybe Sam dismissing some more deja vu moments? 

Wow, I tormented Sam a lot more than I had originally intended in this story, but I guess when everything that happens is the main character's mind...that's bound to be a thing. What do you guys think?