Let The Words Flow

Nostalgia

A rudiment of a song, a memory or a tiny moment is enough to bring a storm, filled with memories of past. Call it a chance to get resurrected in those good old days when everything felt just fine. When the words flowed without the occasional head bangs and life just felt like a la la land. Miles and miles away from the shadows of the past lied a world unaffected by the harsh realities of life. A place where the promises felt unbreakable and so did those relationships. You weren't at the best of what you could be, yet it felt warm and soothing, it felt like home. Obviously, it isn't a place filled with rainbows and unicorns. But man, what wouldn't one give in to re-live those moments again. Compared to the present, the past always seems dumb and stupid. But if stupidity is the way out, then so be it.

These two worlds, so different yet co-related. While one keeps you grounded with pain, the very reason a memory becomes a world is the suffering. We have come a long way down and things have completely changed. Just when you feel that you have everything on track, a reminiscent touch brings out the emotions bottled up, aged like a fine wine. Just waiting to get their "big break", to finally be born to the existence and have their share of an audience. Nobody is proud of who they were in the past. A thousand mistakes accompanied by the kind of personality you supposedly hate now. At this stage, it's so easy to start comparing between the two phases. The position on "How well I am doing in life" is quite subjective. It's all about the way we choose to look at it. You could be laying on the same level, yet feel so high or just down in the dumps just because you feel the void of something. Eventually, things will fall in place, making you realise that life is merely a vicious cycle of getting rid of the old problems and creating new ones.

So far it may look like that the past has an edge over the present but then, I am terrible at expressing myself. I just can't express what I feel without confusing the listener. Why do I hate these "blasts from the past", you may ask. Simple, they remind me that no matter how fast I run, some facts are here to stay, even if they are depressing or hard to accept. They remind me that my passion will be boiled down to merely a hobby. And no matter how hard I try, time and distances will mess me up. A thousand excuses will be made, for not providing enough time. And distances will darken the voids. Stealing a phrase from 'The Fault in Our Stars', it will become a 'time bomb waiting to explode'. That's what these two demons are meant to do. To break those "unbreakable" promises made in the past and simply throw them in the bin. After all, there's an obvious reason why we still go back to those old places, hoping for a temporary relief. The past us was a carefree and faced fewer problems, at least that's what we feel. While growing up, everyone had their own fad, something that made them feel different from the rest. It gave the sense of content, that you were not the part of cliché community. But then life gives the blows one after one, and eventually, you have to fall in the mould of a cliché person. A cliché thing, with a cliché ambition and a cliché personality.

Maybe I am being really pessimistic. Or maybe, I'm lacking clarity. And obviously, there's a lot I need to think about. Such conclusions can't be made over a single all-nighter. Sure it's depressing to think about the events and the people you hate. Although it's easy to cut all ties, it's just not the right thing do. It's so easy to act like a particular phase of your life never existed. But then who would you go to when the darkness of the night consumes you. So even if it's depressing there's a pretty good reason to hold on to the past rather than forgetting it. Given our current personality, we can be one hundred per cent sure that few years down the line, we would be hating who we are now. And that's okay because the past will always look dumber than the present.