Hired for Hemmings

seventeen

I slip on my black dress and heels, today is the day I finally see my father, sadly I see him,Dead for the first time. I take it all in. He loves me, Let it go Riley, just like Lauren said, he loves you no matter what. He'd forgive you. I say to myself putting my hair in a bun and standing up straight with my head held high. I check my phone and lately I haven't been hearing from Luke. Only a few texts. This whole two weeks has been a mess, this will be the first time I have stepped out of my house all week, I've been depressed, and having horrible dreams and just crying all night because I miss Luke.

I try and hide my horrible bags under my eyes that show I have had sleepless nights, I am a mess. i think putting on some make up. I walk down stairs slowly trying to save time till I have to face my father's funeral.

-

We arrive at the burial ground and sit in the front with my sister, many people I do not know come up to me and apologize for my fathers death, I just nod. Many people are crying, I look and see his wife and two sons crying, at least they had a father. I feel this pang of jealousy.

" Riley?" Lauren says tapping my shoulder, " They want you to speak."

what? I didn't even know about this, I don't know what to say. I have nothing to say. I slowly stand up a d walk up to his casket and begin.

" I'm Riley Reynolds, Most of you do not know who I am, I am his oldest daughter. I have not spoken to my father In many years, shall I say that I am very upset that I never did." I begin, " But he left me and my little sister at the age of ten, leaving my mom a single mother, also shall i say we were very hurt, but I can't say he wasn't there for me, even though i ignored him for most of my life, Lauren on the other hand was apart of his life and I chose not to be, which wish I did. I'm sorry." I say tears falling down my cheeks I sit down. i have nothing to say.

It goes on and Lauren speaks and so does his other sons, finally we see the casket covered in flowers then we leave.

While were in the car, I sit staring out the window thinking of random things, Luke. I plan on going home and crying for the rest of the night. I miss him. It's been a week or so since I've seen him and talked to him really.

" Riley are you okay?" My mom says looking back at me.

" Yeah mom, I'm fine." I say still staring out the window.

" She misses Luke, I hear her sobbing at night." Lauren says.

" Riley.. You will see him again." My mom says with a smile, putting her hand on my leg. I just nod at her.

We get home and I go get changed in a pair of jeans and a hoodie, I lay in my bed tired. Lauren comes in," You got mail from colledge." She says looking at me.

" I'll look at it later." I mutter to her and she sits next to me.

" Ri, are you okay? You have been in your room for the past week or so." She says putting her head near mine.

" Two weeks and a half." I've been keeping count, " I'm just.. sad about everything, I feel guilty, and Luke barely texts me and I miss him."

" Riley, you need to forget about it, okay. I told you dad would forgive you, Luke, you will see him soon." She says with a smirk. Why are they smiling so much when they mention his name?

" I'm going to go to bed." I say and get under the covers, and close me eyes.

" Its only seven, this isnt heathly you haven't eaten." Lauren says getting mad.

" goodnight." I say not caring, I don't care anymore, if i wanna go to sleep every night early, so be it. Its not hurting them.

_

I fall asleep, dreaming of tons of things, the funeral and seeing Luke again. It hurts, really bad not seeing someone you love for such a long time, we haven't spoke in a while, what if he found another girl? What if he doesn't care for me anymore.

If only I knew.

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