My poetry

Inside

I walk away,
Is that the only option,
Or do I just freeze,
Freeze to the point where I can't hear,

I'm just here,
No purpose,
No meaning,
Just here,

Is there a reason,
Or am I just stupid,
Smart?,
I make too many mistakes to be smart,

The only thing I know is stupidity,
Breathe only stupidity,
Am nothing but stupidity,

For what?,
Why?,
Fix me someone,
Or I'll just be broken for life,

Having no purpose,
No brain,
Yet still has the guts to act smart,
With no way of knowing her actions have consequences,

Trying to have a simple perfect life,
Nothing is simple,
Nothing is Perfect,
Nothing is what it is expected to be,

I try to make it simple by making it harder,
Is that who I am?,
No? Yes? Not until now?,
I guess I never knew who I was,

I'm still finding out,
But that doesn't mean I'm lost,
I know my place,
I just need to stay there,

Is my place where I thought it was?,
Maybe it's a million miles away from me,
Or even farther,
To the point where my place isn't even relevant to the earth,

Where I stand as a person that is nothing because of my age,
Which means I'm worthless,
There is no part that anyone wants because I'm just a stupid kid,
And stupid kids get nowhere in life,

The people that raised me aren't the only people I lie to,
I lie to the girls who have been by my side for years,
I lie to the boy I thought I loved,
I lie to myself saying that I'm happy,

When I walk up to a mirror I no longer am proud of that girl in the mirror,
Because she is not the person she wanted to be,
She's no one because at one point she tried to be like everyone,
In the back of her head she knew this wasn't her yet she stayed the same,

It became too much,
She had thoughts she regretted,
Yet felt she would be happier,
Still never did it,

In fear she knew this was also wrong,
She knew she needed help,
Yet never asked in fear of being called dramatic,
And so she pretended to be normal for a while,

After years of pretending,
She found who she was,
Her parents were disappointed,
To the point where she was about to ask for help,

So writing was the only way out,
The therapy she desperately needed was just a pen and paper,
The voices in her head were wrote down for the world to see,
With no doubt she knew this was the first step to feeling better,

The road was long and still ahead but it's the beginning,
Her brain will lead her,
Her strength will protect her,

She knows the world is cruel,
But she doesn't need the world,
She needs a guide,
A helper,

That one person that understands,
Who knows how it feels,
Why she acts like that,
And who she is,

The person she hopes that is?,
A person that knows her,
That truly knows how she is,
That one person in the whole world that makes her feel special because they know what it's like,

Hoping one day she will be happy,
With someone or alone,
She knows what she has to do,
And what part she needs to play no matter how hard the journey,