Free

Chapter 30

"Can we go now and get ice cream, Sev? You promised us!"

The children were starting to get on his nerves by the time they arrived back at their chambers. They ran and jumped all around him and were always in his way, so he really had to be careful to not run one of them over. All he wanted was a short five-minute-break before getting the children some ice cream as promised.

They, however, wanted their dessert directly after dinner as it seemed. Harry and Draco nodded at each other before jumping on his back as he walked down his small hallway leading to his living room and theirs bedrooms.

"Oof!" He really didn't expect them to go that far in getting him to do as he promised. "You two are really persistent, aren't you?" laughed the potions professor. He gently got down so that they could safely get away from his back, but they clung to him like spider monkeys.

"OK, fine. Get down from my back, and we shall go and get you your dessert." sighed a defeated Severus as they finally let go of him. He turned around to see Hermione smiling at him.

"Don't eat too much ice cream, it's not good for them." 

Severus started walking towards the door again where the two excited troublemakers were already waiting for him.

"Don't worry, Hermione," he smiled, before closing the door behind him.

A few minutes later he and the two boys reached a portrait in another part of the dungeons and Severus quickly tickled the pear to which the portrait swung to the side and granted them entrance to Hogwarts' kitchens.

"Master Snape! How can Dobby help you, Sir?" squeaked the small elf upon seeing the potions professor enter the big room. Harry and Draco looked fascinated at the creature even smaller than them.

"I came here to ask for some ice cream for the two troublemakers I brought with me. Do you have some in stock?" asked the professor, politely shaking the house elf's extended hand.

Dobby shook his head yes and scurried off into another part of the big room occupied by the many working house elves and squeaked: "Just a moment, you can sit down at that table." He snapped his fingers and made a table appear near them. 

Smiling to himself, Severus took the children and sat them down at the table which wasn't an easy task. They squirmed and were ecstatic that they were finally getting their promised ice cream.

Only a few moments after that, Dobby returned with three bowls of ice cream and sat them down in front of them. "I thought Master Snape might like one, too. You haven't visited to get some in quite a while, Sir," exclaimed the house elf who prided himself in being one of the few house elves actually being able to talk like a human. "I made you your usual, Sir. Dark chocolate ice-cream with blueberries and some salted caramel. I may have even added your special ingredient you sometimes ask for." 

The elf winked before leaving his three guests to their own devices.

Severus couldn't help himself but smile at the house elf who knew him better than most humans. In slightly better spirits, he started eating his ice-cream when he noticed that the children were already half-way finished eating theirs.

+++++++++++

"I sense a good deal of contempt with the three of you. I guess your venture in search of ice cream was successful?" laughed Hermione as Severus entered the rooms in the dungeons with two very sleepy boys in tow. He smiled at her and brought Harry and Draco to bed before joining Hermione in the living room.

"What did Minerva say during dinner that had you in such a foul mood?"

"She told me that we should try to look a bit less familiar when in public or one might think that there is something going on between us. Although it wouldn't be illegal it would still make us look like liars with that whole Skeeter-affair still going on, you know."

"I mean, she has a point, but I have to say that I don't really want to change anything right now. I enjoy this way too much. 

Back when I was around fifteen I thought I knew what I wanted in my life. I planned on working at the ministry, maybe even as the minister for magic to change our society for the better and I never really thought about family at all, because I knew that for that plan, I had to make sacrifices. I didn't want to have a family at home waiting for me when I'd always be busy working longer. And even when I thought about the chance of a future husband all I ever saw was Ronald. 

Now I know that neither is an option for me. I don't want to work at the ministry. Hogwarts is where I belong, it is my home and I have come to love teaching and potions. Whenever I think about the future I don't see anything related to Ronald Weasley at all. 

There's another wizard who has caught my eye and a rather big part of my heart, someone much more intellectual. Someone who values similar things as I do. Someone I never even dreamt about coming so close to, and yet he seems to be completely out of reach for me. I got the chance to see the real him and for that I'm so grateful. I never would have thought that he'd somewhat open up to me of all people - I just wish that he'd show that side more often. He never had an easy life and was often frowned upon, but he stood strong and kept going even when everyone hated him. I hope that you find someone special for yourself. It would be sad to see such a strong and brave man waste away with no one caring about him. Good night, Severus."

She sounded sad as she said this. To her, it felt as if this was a final goodbye to him, although she was still sharing chambers with Severus. Hermione stood from her spot on the couch, kissed him on the cheek and then went to bed with tears in her eyes as he was sitting on the couch, unmoving, staring into the glowing embers of the once lit fire, thinking about her words. It seemed as though they had died like the hopes Hermione might have had and to Severus it was just a reminder of her caring and loving side she showed him. He felt cold as soon as she had left the room, and he felt something he couldn't quite describe. 

Once in her room, she closed her door behind her and warded it so that he couldn't just enter. She wanted to be alone for now. Just as she had done that, the tears started rolling down her cheeks. What was she to do once Harry and Draco were themselves again? Should she just carry on like before? She was sure that she wasn't going to be able to do that. But could they keep going like that? Surely not. There would be many things in their way. It was a hopeless situation and once Hermione realized that all that she had now would be over quite soon - her world came crashing down on her.

All the things she told Severus were true. She will be missing children running around, laughing and playing. She will miss living with him, and she knew that it was going to be hard for her to study under him again after she moved out and their lives would be back at normal. Hermione knew that she'd never forget the time they spent together as some sort of family, and she would most definitely never forget him and the way he acted when he was alone with them. 

He was a whole different man when he was in the company of people he knew and trusted and Hermione knew that she'd always see him as the man who would have been such a great father if he only wanted, rather than the dour potions professor she always thought him to be. Under that icy exterior was a passionate, warm and open-hearted, even funny man. 

How was she to forget that? And how was she ever to forget that kiss?