Cry to the Blue Moon [FINISHED]

Something a little bit like this

At first, you'll feel melancholic. You think of all the happy memories and you are wishing you can go back. Then , after some time, the more you look back , the painful it gets. Regrets are sweeping up because you will realize you are a failure. You'll often feel disappointed to others but mostly to yourself because you expect too much. Without realizing, it will slowly zaps you your energy. You will not feel it until it is too late. And by then, you'll blame yourself again for not noticing the signs.

A failure. That one word will slowly creep into your head and make its permanent residence. Then you'll find no love on food even if you crave for it. Your once healthy appetite will not function well this time. And even if you force yourself to it like when you are normally sick but your stomach keeps on rejecting it.

So yeah. Sorry. I just had my turn in the washroom. And no. My body's acid level is still normal. So I don't think that's the reason. I'm not on a diet either. I am definitely not forcing myself to stay skinny and not eat. I love foods. Like foods in general, healthy or not as long as they are edible. If you'd know me 10 years ago and we lost contact then we meet again now, you'll notice the changes in my appetite. And I am not very proud on that.

I have never went to talk to anyone yet regarding my situation. I am afraid that they will just tell me that everything's just in my head. Or maybe it is. Maybe that is true. Maybe it really is just in my head. But at this point in time, I do not really need people telling me this sharp reality. Can't even accept false pretense as well. I just someone to tell me how to be okay. To manage this at least.