Cry to the Blue Moon [FINISHED]

WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS.

Have you ever heard about that saying? Yeah, you probably had or you might not have any idea that it's a saying. I first heard it when I was in high school. One of my classmates who is into English literature asked me this question out of the blue, "Do you know that sometimes when it rains, it pours?" When I first heard it, I was like, "Yeah. It does. Especially if it's monsoon season or it's already a storm." That classmate looked at me like I was saying something alien or something stupid. I didn't bother thinking about it until I experienced it myself.

I recently made a mistake in my work that cost me the work itself. Because of that one information that I wasn't able to communicate to our boss, it cost us around $10,000 income. In my defense, I was told that the package will reach the event on time. I was communicating with them every time and I get confirmations every day. Aside from that, I am working other tasks inside and outside of the company. It is like I am the messenger and head of the maintenance while being the only person in the accounting department. And I am the only one in that department that handles three functions. Anyway, my fault is that I wasn't able to communicate with my boss and the expected outcome became futile. The blames are all on me. I was told to vacate the position at once.

Imagine, all my anxieties for the past weeks came to nothing. I am insignificant. A failure. Because of a simple mistake of being non-communicative (basically because I have a lot on my plate), I have to let go of my work. It was hard. To just be told to vacate the position as if I never did anything right. It was so hard accepting that. I tried so hard to fulfill all the tasks intended for at least three people but everything I did are not enough. At the end of it all, I am a failure.

Everything I am trying to run from was able to catch up with me. – losing appetite, to the idea of just leaving it all behind. For the past four to six weeks, lunch is only if necessary and dinner is luxury. I would love to eat, even just the idea of doing it but when I am in front of them, no food are anymore a go-to food, or something that could help me relax. The sweets turn to salty that turns to spicy that turns to sour until it doesn't taste anything at all.

I wasn't able to perform well then few mistakes with the company and eventually costing me my career ... and my life. How lucky is that right?