Arynthe's Story

Fjouki

(continuation)

I rushed to the infirmary, to Zad's office. Zad was pretty much never in his office, but it was always open to me. When I arrived I found it empty, as usual. I let my tired body fall into Zad's chair and took my mnegoy out of my pocket. It had been more than a superweek since I last refilled it, so I could run out any day now. I just hoped it wouldn't be today. 

I was not disappointed; the moment I took that deep breath in I felt the weary haze dissolving. It was a relief as always. Once again, the nothing wouldn't get me this night. My body cried out for more, but I had to control myself.

But why actually, I thought. I'd run out sooner or later anyway. Right now there was no one around. Also, I had something to celebrate. 

Before I could stop myself, the mnegoy was placed against my lips again, and I sucked more of the drug into my system. I felt amazing, so energetic and yet so relaxed. The colours around me started to glow intensely. 

I simply stopped resisting. It was like that day Ashiria exploded, and I couldn't stop screaming, only this time it was all good instead of terrible. It was glorious, even. With every breath I took I felt more euphoric. 

I'd run out sooner or later anyway. It's better spent this way, all at once, so powerful. 

Beep-beep. 

It was done. Empty. I let the now worthless object slip out of my hand and relaxed. I felt like I had just avenged someone: sort of guilty, but still very satisfied. I noticed too late that my chair fell back and I clattered on te floor. It didn't hurt at all. I started laughing uncontrollably. 

The door was slammed open. 

"Arynthe?" Zad asked, staring at me in confusion. "What are you doing on the floor?"
"Laying, brother," I laughed. Man, that was hilarious at that moment. I laughed and laughed and laughed. 
"How much of your mind did you just lose?" Zad asked. 

I fell silent instantly and stared up at him. He had a blue glow to him, but that was probably just the drugs. It looked kind of pretty actually. 

"That was not nice to say," I said. "Just because I'm relaxing myself for a moment I'm suddenly crazy?"
Zad flipped the chair with me on it back upright and said: "You and I need to talk about what "relaxing yourself" actually means. I don't know wh-"

He looked down. He knelt down. When he stood up again, he was holding the empty mnegoy. 

"What is this, Arynthe?" he asked softly. 
"That, brother, is a mnegoy. You of all people should know."

Zad didn't think it was as funny as I thought it was. He looked me straight into my eyes, as if he was a parent explaining to a child why it's a bad idea to put an alarm clock in the oven.

"What was in it?" he asked.
I laughed. "I have no idea. I don't know the name, I mean. I got it from Wehjo..."
Zad took a scanner out of his pocket and started scanning the mnegoy. "Who's Wehjo?" he continued the interview. "Does he live on this station?"
"Nah, man," I said, and I shook my head. "He's one of those yellow fellows. He lives in that hell I came from."
Zad finished his scans. "Stay here," he said, and he walked to the door. "I'll be right back."
"Better than to be left front!" I called after him. 

I laughed again. It was hilarious. The entire situation was hilarious. The tears of laughter streamed down my face like two salty rivers. 

Then Zad returned.
"Hey, brother!" I giggled."Long time, no seen!"
Zad took my shoulders in his hands and gently shook them. "Calm down, Arynthe," he said. "I know it's difficult, but you need to calm down, okay? I just need to test a few things, okay?" 

I still don't know what magic he used, but it worked. I stopped giggling. My mind and vision were clear and sharp. 

"Good," Zad said. "Now look at my fingertip." 

He held his finger up in front of my face. I fixed my gaze on it. I could see a little point of his nail over his fingertip. It had eight little lines on it towards the point. 

"Your focus is excellent," Zad concluded. "For your information, the drug is called Fjouki. Please do me a favour and never touch it again."
"Won't be possible," I said. "I don't have more."
"Better," Zad sighed, visibly relieved. "Now relax, okay? I'll help you through this."
"I don't need help!" I stood up. I noticed for the first time that I was actually taller than Zad. I wasn't afraid. "I'm perfectly fine. You said yourself-"
"Sit down," Zad said firmly, and he pressed on my shoulder, but not nearly hard enough. 
"No! Why should I?" I had no idea I could feel like this, so electric. My lips curled into a smile. "I can do whatever I want. That has never been a problem before, has it?"

Suddenly I felt something behind my knee, bending it, causing me to lose my balance and fall back into the chair. 

"Your reflexes are fast, but not fast enough," Zad stated. "Now listen to me. You're gonna stay right there in that chair, and you're not going anywhere. I'll strap you in if I need to. Do you understand me?"
I looked him right into his serious eyes and replied: "Screw you." 

And with that, I kicked him right in the stomach, jumped up and ran out. The world around me was slow, I was fast. I allowed my hair to cover my face and disappeared in the crowd. With the huge number of Ashirians still aboard I wouldn't easily be found again.

But of all moments, that moment was exactly the wrong one. I cursed as I realized what was going on when I felt a cold creeping through my left side.

"Xaoni," I cursed, "not now!"

Dzirta syndrome doesn't let itself be controlled. My left side started aching and my arm twitched a few times. Some people turned to me.

"Do you need help?" A Torrayan woman asked.

I wanted to say that I didn't need help, that it looked worse than it was, all lame excuses in a row to not have them call Zad, but at exactly that moment I felt a powerful surge of pain through my entire left side, from my toes to my head. I collapsed to the floor and gasped. I didn't think I ever had an attack this bad before.

"Coming through! Give us some space!" I heard Zad call.

I wasn't sure if I was glad to see him, but I didn't have a choice. My body just rolled to face him. I clenched my teeth together, refusing to cry.

"It's really not your lucky day, is it?" Zad whispered to me.

I couldn't say a word. I just gasped in pain. How long was this still going to take? My record was half an hour, I realized in horror, and that hadn't been comfortable to say the least.

"Don't worry, I've got you." He aimed his trikat at me. "This won't hurt."

I stared at the little light, realizing in a split second what was going on, and screamed. But before that scream had me running out of air, my world went black.