Arynthe's Story

My decision

(continuation)

Zad rushed into my lab. "What's the-"
"... problem?" I finished his sentence after he fell silent. "Have a look at this."

I handed my notebook to him. He read it through and his face grew grimmer and grimmer as he did so. When he reached the conclusion, the notebook slipped out of his hands and fell on the floor. He reached for my desk to support him. 

"Oh, my," he spoke out. "That's one uncomfortable truth."
I nodded. "I know. I hoped I was mistaking, but unfortunately..."

He stood there against my desk for a moment, trying to grasp what he had just found out. I picked my notebook up and put it in the upper drawer. 

Zad finally took the word: "What are you going to do with this... information?"
"I don't know," I whispered desperately. "I really don't know. I can't even make out if I should tell the other Ashirians about it."
"No, no, no," Zad said, shaking his head firmly. "Definitely not."
"I know they won't like it, but it's science's duty to-"
"Think about the consequences, Arynthe," Zad interrupted me. "They'd lose their reason to live. They'd be deprived of that what they believe is the very essence of their being. I mean, just look at what it already did to you."

A tear escaped from my right eye. Zad was right. I probably shouldn't even write it in my book, just in case anyone would actually read it. This information was so devastating it'd destroy lives forever. 

"There's one thing, though," I said. "The adventure revolution. It has to stop."
"You already tried to stop it when you were Mara," Zad reminded me.
"I didn't try hard enough." I stood up and clenched my hands into fists. "Whoever is out there watching over us can't be pleased with it. The Ashirians are sending their own world to doom. I have to end it, if necessary with violence."

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I just came to think that whoever's reading this is probably anticipating the big revelation of the secret, but (spoiler alert) there isn't going to be one. It's simply too destructive. Seriously, you don't want to know.

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"Arynthe," Zad said, "under normal circumstances I'd say you're sliding off into the dark again, but I think in this case I believe you're right. However, please don't simply fly over and start battling all on your own."
I chuckled. "Do I have a choice? I doubt you can arrange me an army."
Zad smiled. "Don't underestimate my connections. Just give me a few weeks."
"I'll try to be patient," I nodded. 

Zad walked out and left me alone with my discovery. Once again I checked for mistakes, but found none. I had to accept it. 

I felt strangely light, like a ghost. It was a feeling I hadn't had for decades. With it came a buried desire to become Mara again. I knew I shouldn't feel this exited, but I couldn't help it.

"Arynthe," I said out loud to myself, "you are sliding off into the dark again."

I moved the chair away from my desk and then crawled into the space where my feet should be. My hand reached under the drawers. Back in 62 ar., when the ghost had possessed me, I had once hidden my meds there, because I was in a rebellious mood and refused to take them. Obviously Zad found out soon enough (not difficult to recognize the messed up behaviour of the ghost), but instead of searching the little tube with the pills in it he simply gave me new ones. 

It only contained crumbles. I cursed myself as the realization hit me that it had been over a century since I hid the thing there. Twelve decades old crumbs wouldn't stand a chance against the ghost. I'd have to do it on my own. Of course, technically I could ask Zad for help, but I doubted he'd help me reclaim Ashiria if he knew I was losing my mind again. No, Arynthe, you're not reclaiming the planet, you're just going to end the revolution!

The ghost was inside my thoughts already. I forced my muscles to relax to stop them from trembling and closed my eyes. 

"I'm not a ghost," I said to myself.

The sides of the desk pressed against my anteron. I crawled out of the tiny cage and stretched myself out on the floor. All the sudden I felt indescribably tired. It scared me. I gathered all my strength and called out.

"Help, help!" I shouted. "The nothing!"

Nobody came. I laid there, all alone, feeling to tired to even open my eyes, and nobody came to help me. I did the only thing I could do: I fell asleep.