Arynthe's Story

The joke's over

(continuation)

I shot up the moment I regained consciousness, even before I opened my eyes. It didn't make much of a difference when I opened them. The world around me looked like one big, dark blur. I could have known, I thought to myself, because after high peeks come deep falls. 

My hand searched for the handle of my blade to make me feel a little safer, but couldn't find it. I did find that I was wearing clothes I didn't know. There were no walls in reach to cover my back and I myself felt weak and nauseous. To summarize: in case of danger I stood absolutely no chance, and that made me feel very small and very helpless. 

"Zad!" I called, but my voice didn't get louder than a whisper. "Zad, are you there?" 

Quick footsteps approached. I saw a blurry silhouette coming near. 

"I'm here," the silhouette said with Zad's voice. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?" 
"Well... light to begin with..." I attempted to laugh, but it wasn't very convincing. "I can't see a thing."
"The lights are already on," Zad said. "Don't worry though, your sight will return to normal in a few days. Meanwhile you should really get some sleep. How long has it even been since you last slept?"
"Two minutes."
The silhouette sat down next to me on the edge of the bed and said: "Seriously, Arynthe, how long has it been?"

I shivered. The memory of the nightmare in Wehjo's hut got to me for a moment. I was feeling creepily comparable to back then. 

"Nearly six years," I finally admitted. "I didn't even consider it anymore since Wehjo gave me fjouki for the first time."
"But why, Arynthe?" I felt guilty as I heard the pain in his voice. "Why in the universe would you stop sleeping? You of all people should know how important it is, and instead you chose for that... that poison?" 
"I was scared!" I confessed desperately. "I was scared, okay?"

Zad said nothing. He just sat there, my malfunctioning eyes making it impossible to determine whether he was looking at me or at the wall. I could only be sure of one thing and that was that he was listening to me. Zad always listened to me. 

"Ever since my father died, I've been afraid," I began with my voice trembling. "You can't imagine what it was like... The times were dark... With no one watching over me, I couldn't be sure to wake up again in the morning... And then the nightmares... It just became unbearable." 

I had to pause for a moment. I was fighting a bitter war against my tears. I could not break the promise. 

"Wehjo found out that night, nearly six years ago," I continued then. "He gave me that stuff for free... How was I supposed to doubt it? It was so perfect..."
"Oh, Arynthe..." Zad whispered, and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. 
I squeezed my eyes shut to keep the tears inside. "I'm a stupid coward," I said. "I guess I had no choice but to be a stupid coward... But to me, that doesn't justify anything. And now I'm in trouble. How am I ever going to sleep again?"

Zad now wrapped his other arm and his wings around me too. His scales against my anteron made a soft ringing sound, like a hundred little bells. It was strangely calming. 

"You don't need to be afraid on this station," Zad said softly. 
I let my the back of my head lean against his upper arm. "Trust me... If you've been hunted as much as me, you're afraid, whether you need to be or not."

I suddenly realized that I had slept exactly this way on the first night on Egeg's station, but then in Egeg's arms. It was kind of funny: with all the things that happened between me and aliens, I still end up like this again. I thought I suddenly understood what destiny was. 

"Don't worry," Zad cooed, and he gently rocked me. "You're safe here." 

The darkness around me grew even darker now. I didn't have the strength to fight it. The nothing was coming for me, but at least this time I had Zad who could watch over me.

"Don't leave me alone," I whispered, "please don't leave me alone."
"I won't," Zad replied just as softly. "That's a promise."