gone in an instant

one

Song: Chasing Cars by Sleeping at Last (begin reading 20 seconds into the song)

I still remember your laugh, your rosy red cheeks, those bright blue eyes... How could I forget? I promised you I would love you forever and that is exactly what I will do.

Your brown locks that flowed beyond your waist were soft to touch. As we laid in our grand bed, I remember dragging my skinned fingers through your hair that smelt of vanilla. You would watch me intently, your eyebrows scrunching as you eyed the new scars along my body.

"I want you to be more careful." You'd say, kissing my ripped knuckles.

"I am." I'd respond. I have a career and that career involved pain, wounds, and a lot of blood.

You just smiled and changed the subject. We would lay in our bed for hours surrounded by each others warmth. Your soft legs intertwined with mine, I could almost feel the sensation now.

We would get up past noon and go out for some food. You loved breakfast foods. I would suffer through meals and meals of french toast, scrambled eggs, and red velvet pancakes. For not being a morning person, you sure loved the idea of it.

After eating, we would walk the town and buy groceries. I loved to watch you pick out foods at the farmers market. Your blue eyes focused on the various fruits and vegetables. Your coat tied tightly around you as a gust of wind blew your hair to the side. Stuffing my hands in my oversized coat, I'd grab my wallet and pay for the items regardless of the price. You were my baby and I would always take care of you.

Your smile burns me as I think about it. I nearly cry when I hear your voice on the videos I've re-watched thousands of times. I can't bring myself to put them away. I want so badly to feel you again and hold your tiny frame. I promised you...I promised you would always be safe and I couldn't keep that promise.

I let them hurt you, I wasn't quick enough. I am so stupid. I failed you. I'm so sorry. I love you. I will always love you. Please, come back. I would give everything and anything to have you back. Please. Baby. I love you.

Song ends at 2.25