gone in an instant

six

song: changes by xxxtentacion

"Cole, you love me right?" She asks as we lay in our bed, legs entangled as usual.

"Of course baby, what makes you second guess that?" I ask, turning towards her.

She holds my hand and rubs her thumb over my knuckles. "Sometimes I wonder if you loved me so much and everyone else in the house, you would keep us out of danger."

I take a deep breath. "I try baby, I do. I will always put myself before you to protect you, you know that."

"I do, but when will we stop living in fear?" She whispers.

"Are you?" I ask.

"Living in fear?" She asks, "Yes."

I pause, I never do. Maybe it is because I don't mind dying. This is my life. But if she is scared, that means she doesn't trust me. "Don't, we have our whole lives together to do whatever your little heart desires."

She smiles and leaves a small kiss on my lips...

If only I could feel that again. I shake the memory and look out the window of the airplane. We are five hours away from Australia and I can barely contain my emotions. I know she hated revenge because it makes you out to be just as bad as the others. I want to feel something other than sadness and heartbreak. I want to feel like I did my baby justice. She didn't deserve it. Worst of all, if I would have been more careful she would still be here, holding my hand.

I close my eyes but 3:11:57 plays over and over again. My eyes shoot open and I get up from my seat, passing by everyone and locking myself in the bathroom. I take deep breaths and sigh, trying to ignore the images burned into my brain.

I groan, but I know I'm going to cave in. I unlock my phone and go to the saved security footage.

3:07:56 They pull out their guns and hold them over their heads which are still covered by the bags. She racks into sobs and I run to her, covering her body with mine. I can hear her begs in the tapes "Cole, please! Please!" I pause the tapes and take a deep breath. Why do I keep coming back to these tapes?

3:08:21 They kick me off of her after we repetitively say 'I love you'. Gabe and I along with very few of our alive members behind us pull out our guns on them. They laugh and at 3:09:44 they shoot one of our men in the back of the head. His body falls foreword, the bag around his head turning red by the second.

3:10:55 Another one of our men, shot. Gabe and I continue to converse with them. Shooting will only cause them to shoot too. We struggle to find a way out of this situation.

3:11:57 They grab her and lead her into their truck, keeping a gun to her head as all their other men slowly get into their cars as well. They leave every one else with bags over their heads kneeling on the ground. Then a gun goes off and I watch as her body falls over and they slam the trunk close and speed off as we shoot at them, not doing much damage. Once they are out of sight, some of my men follow after, hopping into our cars.

I remember falling to the ground and my vision almost going black. Her lifeless body falling over in their trunk filled my mind. I bent over and threw up. I rolled over and tried to get back up, my parents taking off their bags and rushing over to me.

"Are you okay? Are you okay?" Everyone's voices filled my head. I looked around everyone was okay beside the two they shot and the ones left inside after the shootout.

"She-" I stop, feeling a rise in my throat again. "They killed her."

song ends at 2.00