Things We Never Said

Chapter 5

It's been too long since we last spoke and I wasn't able to hold my excitement

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!!" I cried angrily as the salty tears poured again.

"John pl-"

"NO!! How dare you talk to me after everything!" I sobbed.

'John, I tried to contact-"

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME AFTER ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME! I MOURNED YOU PAUL!! I CRIED EVERY DAY FOR YOU AND YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU'RE HERE!!" the prospect that it could all be fake got to me. how could he do this? when he knows... how could he?

"John, please listen to me. I'm sorry for everything, but I can explain." Paul softly said.

And he explained. Turns out he was sick of this world...out of all the humans in this world it was him... sick of this world. How I don't know either. He had everything he could've wanted: the woman of his dreams, children that adore him, all the money he could dream of. I just couldn't understand. Why would he do this? How could he do this?

"Does Linda know?" I asked. At least I wouldn't be the only one furious about this. What was he thinking! Faking his death. And he's somehow supposed to be the more mature and trustworthy out of the both of us.

"She helped me go through with it..." he continued.

So, this was just an effort to get me to break.

"John, it's not about you. We weren't trying to hurt you. I just couldn't bear my kids growing up in the spotlight. I want them to have a normal childhood. And I never meant to hurt you like this I swear!" He pleaded. "I didn't want you to get hurt but before you could've picked up the phone that would be inevitable. you wouldn't have gone for the funeral because you hate them. My only hope was you picking up the phone but you didn't since you're too scared of another death."

Of course, he knew what's on my mind. Maybe it's been years since we last spoke. It's been years since our falling out. It's been years since all the lying and forgery took place. But he knew me too well. Maybe better than Mimi ever did or will for that matter. His words stabbed me right where his love has stabbed me for years. But how could he understand when he was so blind to it all. He thought it was only the dreams.

.......

"Oh Paul." I pretended to moan. "Oh god please Paulie faster"

"cut it out John!" he looked at me furiously.

"if we're looking at technicalities, I did."

"I swear to God "

"What? You'll kill me?" I mocked him. "I did you a favor."

"You've cut up the clothes of an innocent woman!" he said angrily

"Come on! We both know she's no innocent lady." I said with a smug face.

Back when I was able to smile, I used to be funny. And Paul found me funny. Good times.

"You didn't have to rip her clothes though" he chuckled.

"I was hungover, and you too kept fucking all night long! I had to for my sanity."