Things We Never Said

Chapter 1

If I tagged you, you don't need to read this just skip to my A/N at the end..
........

How long has it been? I'd say half an hour but I'm not that great at calculating time- specially when I'm dazed off.

"Okay, got it."

I'm not the kind of person that wouldn't pay attention to you, unless you're Mimi or one of my former teachers, since they complain about anything and everything that ever existed for the sake of complaining.

"I hear ya."

And for some unknown reason, Brian is complaining a lot lately. Maybe he's trying to get close to be by trying to be the new Mimi- for queer purposes, because I'm too attractive (not that I actually believe that), or to try to get the work done faster..

"Alright.."

I'm sorry Eppy, but Mimi is a special case.

So, being the typical John Lennon that I am, I decided to block out every work he said.

I want risking anything really; he was most probably talking about deadlines, which we always miss, performance dates, where most of the audience consist of screaming birds and no one can hear anything, or a public appearances  (whether it's a party or a press conference), which is a hidden reason to get drunk with a bunch of posh men.

"John, are you listening to anything I am saying?"

Here we go again, Brian finally realized that I wasn't listening to his life problems...

"Does he ever listen to whatever you have to tell us" George said, as he grabbed a bag of baked potatoes knowing well this is going to take a while. The arse..

"John!" Brian snapped, "I was just telling you that-"

"-that you're in desperate need of a fuck.." I cut him off.

While Brian tried hard to contain his anger, Paul choked on his own spit in an attempt to contain himself which only got him and my other two mates to be in a hysterical fit of laughter.

"Don't look at me like that Eppy. You might not have said the words but in between the lines.. I'm really sorry though, I don't really know how to help l, I just don't know how to hook up with a queer man." I smirked, "I may be attractive but I'm not sacrificing myself for you."

I paused for a moment and then continued, "I really hate to disappoint you though... Maybe Paul can help. I mean, he's the most queer of us.. What do you say Paul?"

He immediately gives me a deadly side stare, "excuse you?"

He may think it's scary but it's really cute seeing him trying too hard.

"We all know it macca." He sighs and walks away. "DO NOT DENY WHO YOU ARE! YOUR DICK MEANS NOTHING!"

Brian, Ringo and George look at me shocked while trying hard to hold their laughter, Paul, in the other hand, just turned and stared at me.

He seriously thinks it's scary!

"If you think of it though, it's true. You certainly are the best cook out of us all... It's too... What's the word for it?" George asks, sarcastically, "feminine?"

Ringo chuckles at George's remark, "it's actually true!"

"Not you too, Ringo!" He groans and mutters under his breath.

"But you do cook the most delicious food out if the four of us."

"Maybe that's because I'm the only one who can!" Paul rolls his eyes, " all you guys do is make sandwiches which, by the way, isn't cooking!"

"THAT'S THE POINT!" George rolls his eyes at Paul.

"That does not make me feminine at all!" He says, defending himself.

"It does." George, Ringo and I say in unison.

I turn and look at Brian "anyway, that's not the point. The point is, since Paul is still in denial and isn't going to allow you to stick your dick in his butthole, you two can go to one of those 'queer only' pubs, and he would help you pick up some relatively attractive men to fuck and busy yourself with. But on second thought, Paul is too pretty. They'll end up going after him and forgetting all about you. I'm sorry I can't help;I tried..."

Moving my attention from Brian, I find a very unamused Paul staring at me, unlike everyone else that just lost it!

I smile at him, and soon enough he lost a battle between him and the slight curve in his lips. They lift in a smile and shakes his head in defeat ,and we turn out attention back again at Brian as he continues whining about deadlines- apparently.

Halfway through Brian's speech, I turn to look at Paul as he rolls his eyes and raises his eyebrows (as if they need to be raised any further). And it's only few moments before he turns to look at me and I am taken aback.

It seems like he was looking right through me and I would imagine it being so unsettling, I would be exposed. But to my surprise all the rush of emotions, all that paranoia and sadness, it's all gone. I can finally relax and for once smile and actually be carefree.

We smile at each other and we turn back to Brian. But this time I don't feel the need to make any witty remarks or impress everyone. All my emotions has settled, and I finally feel free.

............

I sit in a chair in my garden, holding a bottle of whiskey in my hand, while I stare at the fading colors of the seasons being sucked into whiteness..

There's nothing to look at; it's very empty, very dead.

It's freezing cold! And I would go back in if Yoko wouldn't bother me every now and then. But it's not like I can hear what she says, for the only thing I can hear is the words typed on the newspaper on my lap:

Paul McCartney... DEAD!

A/N: this is gonna be long so sorry.. And sorry for the chapter being short..

As you see this has a much upbeat vibe than the prologue so you are gonna get to see what gets John to the state he was in and you are gonna hate me.. Promise

I just checked and I'm at 50 reads!! How insane is that!! This was literally meant for only two people to read and this is just crazy!! So to all my readers whoever you are I love you!

I am so so sorry it took me too long too update..You so wouldn't have liked it if I updated earlier tho..  Specially that 2015 has been the worst year of my life I was really really sad but then I remembered that But-It-Pours and HelloLittleReader I became friends with you after everything crumbled down and you guys brought me up and made me feel a thousand times better. And fandom_queen_92 and maccaholic you guys just made my every day better and better.. And Sinatra12 you are my rock Ida!! I love you so much!!  And omgringo we may have just got to talk by the end of it but you still made me smile and McLennonLuv you may have came to my life just now but I love you just the same.. And to my writing pal beatles14 WHY AREN'T you updating!!!! But I still love you.. Maybe.. And last but not least my sister and BFF TheBeatlesMoonwalker I love you Abigail Jackson soo much!! Thanks for being there! Just remembering that you were there guys it brought be tears for a whole month and for once it was tears of happiness..

I had to thank you all just so you know how much you mean to me cuz you have no idea how much you are helping me go through my day and how much you guys are giving me the strength to fight and keep on going so thanks  y'all!