Red Fur

Chapter 6

I recovered pretty quickly from the incident, and I managed to convince Raion it wasn't his fault--- for now.

But somehow he wasn't acting like he was alright. But he still stuck around, and for that I was grateful.

It wasn't until that night, 2 days after what happened, that I decided I needed to talk to him. It was almost instinct after seeing him "protecting" me from a distance. I stood at the same cliff we had first stayed together and turned around to face him, my face hardened in an annoyed sneer.

"Raion." I tried to hide my anger but it bled through. When he didn't answer right away, I said his name again with a harder tone. He answered reluctantly. "Yes, Auryn...?"

"Come here."

"..."

"Raion, I said come here."

I paused and sighed, lowering my head, submitting to him for the first time since he'd told me not to. "... Please, alpha."

That got to him like I knew it would, and I heard him heave a sigh before coming to my side, closing the distance between us in a mere 4 strides. And yes, I counted.

"You know perfectly well that I don't like how you're blaming yourself for what happened." I told him shamelessly.

He nodded, not meeting my eyes. "That doesn't mean I don't feel like it was my fault."

"It wasn't your FAULT," I boomed, almost wincing at how much louder it had come out than I expected. I hung my head, holding back a wince.

I sniffled. "Why does my heart ache so much...?" I asked out loud. I hadn't expected an answer. "Auryn... I'm so sorry..."

I shot my head up to glare at him. "Don't you realize that it hurts me more to lose YOU than to have drowned...?!"

I could tell there was a thick veil of tears glazing over my emerald eyes, but I didn't care. How could he not understand...?

"Auryn..."

"I've been alone my whole LIFE, Raion! Do you know what that's like? No! You don't!" I turned away from him, facing the drop off.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand..."

"Aur---"

"You abandoned me!" I yelled, abruptly looking back at him, losing myself in my emotion. "Just like everyone else..."

I dropped my gaze to the dirt. The cold, tasteless dirt. It probably understood me better than him.

I couldn't stop the tears that poured over and dampened my cheeks. But I hadn't felt them for long.

In a swift, gentle motion, Raion bent down and licked my tears away then pulled back slightly, so that his sleek black nose wasn't far from mine. His voice was a gentle caress. "Auryn. I'm so sorry. I just want you to be safe."

We sat in silence for a moment. Then I looked up and met his gaze--- a privilege I was sure only I had--- and kept my voice steady. "Raion... I know this sounds desperate but... Please don't leave me like that..." I grimaced. I sounded so desperate!! He half smiled. "Don't worry." He set a paw over my heart. "I'm here to stay."

He said that, but I swore I saw a hint of resentment in his eyes. What was he hiding from me...?

Two months went by since then. All the while, Raion stayed with me, defying his privileges of sleeping in the warm den to stay. To stay with me. I still didn't understand why he was doing all this for me. All my life, I'd never felt I had any self worth. But Raion had made me felt like I was something special. I felt like a princess. And it didn't take long for me to realize what I really felt for him.

In those two months, I slept beside Raion, and the only thing in my head was a question; how do I tell him? I'd been raised the way I should--- and that was not to keep things a secret from the people I cared about. Naturally that meant I had to tell him--- one way or another.

Spring was on its way, and the snow was beginning to melt, the flowers struggling to regain their blooms. In case you hadn't already figured, this meant my pack would be migrating again. Soon.

I knew there was little time remaining before we left... My time to tell Raion was waning. The thought made my stomach churn.

The thought of losing Raion made my blood boil, my hackles raise, and my heart sink. Sink to rock bottom. Finally, the time arrived. The time where I swallowed my fear and decided it was time to tell Raion how I really felt.