Stories of the converts into Islam

Story 6. Dr. Jeremiah D. McAuliffe, Jr., Ph.D. from Christianity to Islam

Salaams,

Well, here is my story

Bism Allah, Al-Rahmen, Al-Raheem.....

I was raised Catholic and went to a Catholic grade school and high school-- in the U.S. grade school is roughly age 5-14 lasting 8 years and high school is roughly age 14-18 lasting 4 years. Many then go on to 4 years of college. I am of Irish-American ethnicity and from an upper middle class economic background.

I was always interested in religion, as well as things like psychology, and was reading rather broadly in the subjects even in late grade school. I often prayed the rosary and asked for faith, because that is what the Catholic nuns said one should pray for: faith.

At the same time, as I grew, I was rather wild: the whole American "sex, drugs, rock 'n roll" scene, as the saying goes. What can I say? I like to party! Nothing too outrageous for a young American, but wild just the same.

Anyway, in college I studied philosophy and focused on areas such as philosophy of religion and existentialism. I also studied a lot in Christianity as well as Buddhism and other religions, and psychology. (My background in psychology is strong enough such that I have done hospital-based clinical work.)

I very strongly considered being a priest or a monk. I would visit a particular monastery once in a while and have twice begun the entrance procedure into a seminary for the priesthood. (Indeed I was in this process when I accepted Islam. Isn't that ironic?)

So, after college I wasn't quite sure what to do: continue school, but wasn't sure if I wanted philosophy, theology or psychology. I ended up going to Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania which is in the Mideastern United States. Very pretty-- hills and rivers and forests. I studied what is called Formative Spirituality-- which you can read about at my web site. Essentially, it attempts to look at human spirituality as a natural human function-- prior to any theological or specifically religious discussion of it. I have a Master of Arts degree (M.A.) and a Doctor of Philosophy degree (Ph.D.) in this subject. These are among the highest academic degrees in the U.S. educational system. (In college you get a Bachelor's degree-- B.A.)

So, that is my background.

I was religious as a child and read the Bible, which often Catholics do not actually do-- relying on the priest for the interpretation and understanding. In college I practiced yoga and Buddhist/Hindu styles of meditation for about two or three years. Near the end of my first year in college I made a very conscious and ritualized type of personal vow to "go all the way" with religion. To reach enlightenment. To find God. I promised myself I would not stop.

I did not practice Catholicism at that time, but later did renew my practice of it.

However, as I studied various theologies, traditions, and other general religious studies I began to have major, major problems with Christian thought. For instance, it seemed clear to me that Prophet Jesus (God love him!), as a good Jew, would never have claimed divinity for himself. I concluded he did not claim to be God and that the Gospel accounts contained much more theology than biographical history. But I believed that through Jesus' life and personality God did indeed reveal His Will...... and that Jesus is Christ. (As Muslim, I still do believe that, of course.)

But this was problematic. I didn't really fit anywhere! And actually, it was rough to know what to believe, or even if any of it was true. I had many, many years of really fighting for just a naked faith in God. Years of praying at night: "If You are there give it to me. You said ask and you shall receive. Well, I'm asking. You said knock and the door will be opened. Well, I'm knocking. You promised guidance to those who ask for it. I'm asking for it."

And later I prayed like this: "I am sending this prayer out to the One True God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses and Jesus. If You are there guide me, make me Yours..." and stuff like that. I specifically used this kind of a phrase naming these people for a good length of time.