Misery County

Chapter 17 - Part 1

His muscles burned as Eric shoveled the last bit of dirt onto the makeshift grave. The modest height of the mound matched the volume of the body underneath it, and with that, it was done. A pair of thick boards – truthfully simply flat pieces of bark from nearby trees – sat along with a piece of string on the side of the grave. Eric grabbed the items and fashioned a cross out of them before jamming them into the head of the grave.

"I'm so very sorry," he said with tears stinging his eyes. "I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can, I want you to know that I never wanted it to end this way." He emptied the contents of his flask onto the grave. "I know you never liked bourbon, but shit, I think you could use it right about now."

As if all energy was instantly sapped from his muscles, Eric crumpled down over the grave and broke into tears. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," he repeated over and over again until his voice simply refused to come out. "I did all I could," he managed to sputter out when he finally recovered it.

"That is very true, Eric, and you shouldn't feel guilty."

"Fflur?" Eric said, pulling himself together as urgently as possible.

"You remember?" the fairy said.

"How could I forget? It's not every day you meet a fairy. What are you doing here?"

"A great force of good has fallen, and we're personally invested in this fight. My visit seemed only right."

"Oh, and I suppose the others were too busy to make it."

"There's no need for that tone, Eric. You couldn't begin to imagine the work we have. There's nothing that the others can do that I can't do myself."

"Why weren't you there?" Eric mewled through a twisted face.

"We were, Eric. We were watching over you the entire time. We were pooling our energy to give you strength the entire time. But casualties happen, even with our intervention."

"I know all about casualties, goddamnit! I knew about casualties all the way back in Iraq, and that didn't change much after I got back. But it wasn't supposed to end this way. We were prepared. We had a – we had a plan. We had information. It was – it was –"

"You did the best you could, Eric, and that's all that matters here."

"Is it really? She's dead, Fflur! She's out! She's in the ground, and I put her there! I left the balcony when I should have stayed behind while she pulled out of the theater. All of this could have been avoided if I weren't such a cowa-" The word seemed to catch in his throat. The Marine Corps didn't allow what he was in their ranks, and him saying it would only make it real and invalidate his entire career, both in the military and afterward.

"You ran right into the thick of things the moment you heard that help was needed," Fflur said. "That was no act of cowardice. That was an act of bravery and love like no other."

Eric looked over at the fairy with tear-soaked eyes.

"You know she loved you dearly, don't you?" Fflur said.

"I know. I loved her too."

"No, not like that."

Eric paused and took a few breaths. "I know."

Fflur said nothing.