The Girl and Her Lost Souls

Chapter Twenty-Four

CATHY DANURE

WAKING UP is the worst part of my day. That sounds awful, but it's true. My husband is never home except to sleep at night, leaving me with no one to talk to during the day. Whenever I would bring up Jaime, he would brush it off and tell me that the police are doing their best work. It was almost as if he didn't care his only son was missing. It drove me crazy that he wasn't more grieved by the fact that Jaime wasn't home. I had always known he didn't care for Jaime as he did for Alex, but not to this extent. Jaime has been gone for almost two weeks, and we've had no luck finding who took him. I've asked Louis about finding a private investigator, but he tells me that the police are already doing the best they can.

I get up and go into the kitchen. I'm still groggy from the nap that I took on the couch. The dishwasher is still humming from when I first started it. I must not have slept for very long. When I opened up the fridge to look for water, a magnet fell off of the door. I picked it up and sat it on the counter. There's a pen on the surface that I must have misplaced. I pick it up and look at the printing on the side of it. Kevin's law firm. A shiver runs down my spine as I stare at it.

I don't remember ever having this pen.

I frown and throw it in a drawer with our other supplies. Louis always leaves things on the counter. He's never considerate about these types of things. There were a few times when he'd just leave his half-empty plate sitting there, waiting to be picked up by me. Thinking about it makes me feel bitter. Lifting the glass of water, I set it down in the sink. A wave of nausea comes over me, and I make my way to the couch. Half-way there I see a note lying on my book.

Did Louis come home and leave me a note?

I stoop down and pick it up.

My heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest as I read the words on the page. The ink seems fresh, the handwriting exactly like Alex's. But, that can't be. He's dead. How can my son be writing me from the dead?

I run to the sink, and throw up. I stand at the sink until I feel that nothing else is going to come up. Turning the tap on and leaning over, I splash the water on my face and rinse out my mouth. My legs are shaking from the sudden shock, and chills are crawling up my spine. I glance over at the note I left on the living room floor. Tears start welling up in my eyes as I think about Alex leaving me something to read.

Walking back over to the piece of paper, I pick it up again. I release a shaky breath and read the note for the second time. The scrawl is definitely my sons. The way the N's curve was what gave it away. I run my fingers over the ink on the page, and it smears a bit. The tears that were building up finally escape down my cheeks.

What does he mean by Kevin's house? Why should I go to Kevin's house? Could Kevin be the one who took Jaime?

I feel anger starting to form in the pit of my stomach, all nausea disappearing. It wouldn't make sense for Kevin to take Jaime. He's family, and even though Kevin can be rude, I don't see him being a bad guy. He's been to all of Jaime's birthday parties and sports events. He lent the family money when we needed it. Sure, he wants it paid back, but I don't see him taking Jaime for that reason. We haven't had any calls for ransom. Nobody has mentioned money to get Jaime back. Otherwise, we'd have paid the money. If Louis had gotten a phone call, he would tell me.

Right?

The doubt that I felt put me in a state of being uneasy. Thinking back to the man that held the gun, I realized that the height of that man matches the height of Kevin. The other two men were a lot taller. They were taller than Jaime even. The words that were exchanged that night were blurry. So much had been going on, that I don't even recall everything that the smaller man had said.

"I love you. Alex."

I hold the note to my chest. My baby boy. Even in death, he's trying to communicate.

There's a sound at the front door, and I stuff the note in my back pocket. Louis walks through the entrance and gives me a small smile. I smile back at him. The suit he has on is a bit wrinkled in the front, and his shoes have scratches towards the top of the toes. His hair is windblown and curls around his ears. I walk towards him and give him a kiss on the cheek.

"It's time to get a haircut, honey," I say, backing away.

"I haven't had the time to even think about it. There's so much going on at work," he mumbles.

"Have you talked to your brother recently?" I blurt out, tilting my head.

He jerks his head up, and the suitcase in his hand swings a little. He looks nervous. My heart thuds as I watch him struggle with words to say. The look on his face tells me he's suspicious. Never in my fourty years of being alive have I ever shown concern for his brother. I should've thought this through.

"I spoke to him Tuesday. Why do you ask?" he asks.

"Oh, I was just wondering. I see that you're stressed and sometimes you need family to help with that," the lie escapes, without thinking.

He grins and grabs the back of my neck to pull me into his chest. I can hear his heart beating fast as he says, "I'll be okay, baby. It's just a lot of stuff going on at work. I'm more worried about you. Have you been out of the house since...?"

"No, but I think today I'm going to go to the store and get some new books. It's about time that I get made up and go out."

And check your brother's house for my son.

I look up at him, and a lazy smile is planted on his face.

"Okay, well you go ahead and do that. I've got more work that I need to do before I get some sleep tonight. Will you grab me more copy paper while you're there?" he asks.

"Of course I will," I kiss him on the lips and head towards our shared room.

I go into the bathroom and stare at my reflection in the mirror. There are dark circles under my eyes that make me resemble a raccoon. My hair is frizzed out from not brushing it correctly. I feel the tightness in my muscles from not moving most days. Looking down at my hands, I observe my fingernails. The paint on them is chipped, and the nails themselves are uneven. The frown wrinkles around my mouth stand out more than usual. Heat spreads through my face as I think about my own husband seeing me like this.

I take down the ponytail my hair is in and run a brush through it. A little bit of concealer to cover the dark circles and I realize that I already look better. A bit of self-care goes a long way. Mom used to tell me that. It's not a surprise that she had been right.

I listen from the doorway to make sure that Louis went into his study. The car key hanging up on the hook by the front door catches my eye before grabbing it. When I get in the car and start it, I go through the GPS to find Kevin's address. I have to open the gate to the house to get out before making my way there. My nerves are so bad that I catch myself looking in the review mirror to see if someone is following me. There'd be no reason that someone would follow me, but if what I think is true is happening, it doesn't hurt to be safe.

Our house starts fading away behind the many other homes that are similar. My phone sits in the console, along with the note that I had crumpled up in my pocket. Thinking back to the note made my eyes start to tear up again. I sniffle and run my sleeve over my nose. The fear that Alex was stuck on this earth shook me.

I will not be a coward. I will find Jaime for you, Alex. I hope this was what you're pointing me towards. If Kevin's been keeping my son, I'll make him pay.

After thirty minutes, I find myself on a dirt road with an arched metal gate.

I'm coming for you, Jaime.