i thought i was making you happy, i was making myself happy. this was the first time in so long i was so fucking happy. what you said felt similar to a heartbreak. you told me you loved me tonight but you know what i am thinking and expect me to answer. i'm sorry i'm unsure myself and i've been putting you through this with me. i didn't want to. i'm not used to people sticking around when things get bad. i loved tonight i can't believe you don't feel the same way but how selfish of me to believe that.
important things that happened tonight :
- i shook my head no and you nodded your head yes.
- i took your beanie, you let me take your beanie (and later told me you were going to give it to me).
- you walked over to me when i was standing far away
- you let me talk to michael about love
- your smile. those fucking dimples
- you let me put my head on your shoulder. you LET ME. for so long. i hadn't been so happy in so long. you leaned into me. you put your head on mine. my head on your shoulder, and your head up against mine (with your beanie on)
- that hug. it lasted a long time. thank you for that.
i hate that you put my happiness first but i am happy.
YOU ARE READING
the way i see it
Randomshort passages of how i feel, the way others feel, the way anyone could feel. feelings
