"Goddamn it Ella, open your eyes, own up to what you're feeling. Look at the person who you are feeling this with and realize that I might actually be the right guy for you"
Dancer Ella's life is made up of ballet, highschool and her long time boy...
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The silence between us comes to an end as I hear a loud ring that makes me jump. I whip my head to see Jay pull out his phone cautiously, making it so clear that I shouldn't see who's calling. I try coming closer and see an unknown number .
Jay takes a step back, and I immediately feel his musky scent distance itself away from me. He puts his phone back in his pocket and I can see the darkness creep back into his chocolate brown eyes in milisecond.
"Is it the same number from yesterday?"
He rolls his eyes at me, and I can sense the atmosphere being not so calm anymore. "I do not owe you an explanation Ella," he groans, pushing his dark brown hair back which causes his biceps to flex. I swear his bicep is like Mount Everest.
I'm intrigued. I can't help that I want to know what's going on in his life, in his head, and why he acts the way he does. "I mean yeah you don't. But then, yeah you kinda do after the Walmart thing," I argue, slowly getting impatient. "You're not acting the same. You just go out of my way"
"I'm not," he hisses. "I just don't feel like talking about it"
"Does Seth know?"
"No not everything," he sighs. Even in the darkness of the night, I can see sadness creep into his eyes.
"I'm just worried," I blurt out, looking down at the ground. He hasn't been here long but he's starting to grow on me. If he's important to Seth, then he is to me too. The thought of Jay being in any sort of danger makes my skin crawl. I feel myself shivering in that moment, and I know it's not because of the cool summer night.
I hear no answer from him for what seems like eternity, but is probably only a few seconds. It causes me to look up from the ground where my gaze is hiding, to look up and find his. His face has softened and I can see him trying to hold back a laugh, or maybe even a smile?
"You're worried about me?" he repeats, as if it couldn't be true. I nod impatiently, shifting my balance from one foot to another. "Don't be. Its just some stupid drama that will blow over. I'm not in New York anyways"
My heads starting to hurt and I don't know whether to believe him or not. I decide to leave it for a moment where I can think straight.
"Okay"
"We good?" he smiles, causing for the whole moment to brighten up again. Damn him.
"Yeah, we're good"
I glance down once more at the party going on in the yard. Some are making out, others are dancing or swimming in the pool. I hear Jay shift beside me and look back at him to see him staring at me.
"What? Do I look so bad after crying?". My hands go to my face, trying to wipe off any smudged makeup. I feel myself getting self-conscious beside him.
"Are you crazy? You still look as beautiful as you did before the party started," he says abruptly before pursing his lips.
I'm taken aback for a moment and I nervously smooth out the crinkles in my dress. I hear him clear his voice, "So uhm, don't worry about that. You look great. Should we go back downstairs?"
I swallow the hairball in my mouth that didn't allow me to speak, and tell him sure. I figure that I should lead the way back downstairs, since my house is a freaking maze. Making my way to the balcony door to cut in front of him, causes me to hit my hip into a chair and stumble into him. Good job, Ella.
"Woah, slow down there," he chuckles, while grabbing my arm. His body is huge as well as his hands, but they grab ahold of me ever so gently and I feel like nothing can happen to me in his hold.
"Sorry," I breathe out, hurrying to get out before I embarass myself even more.
He jumps in front of me to lead me down the stairs, since I'm still tipsy. The mass of people is still there, if not even greater. I see Yaz and Vi waving at me to come to them.
Before I can turn to Jay to tell him that we should go to the girls', I hear a voice squeal "JAAAYYY"
We both see a drunk Cindy Letterman standing in front of us wearing the skimpiest dress ever.
"There you are. You promised me some alone one on one time, J. Then you just left," she pouts. She's got the most platinum blonde hair ever, but I hate to say that it actually looked good on her. Her looks weren't the problem, it's more her personality which is why we've never been close.
One on one time? My eyes dart to Jay who's not looking at me but Cindy. "I had to do something," he says cooly.
"Well do you have time now?" she slurs. God, I don't like her.
Jay turns to me with a stern expression on his face. "Do you need me?"
I feel stupid that he's asking just to be nice. I don't want to be in the middle of them anymore or ruin his night even more than I've already done. He obviously had plans with her before the Seth incident, and I was feeling more okay now. He's not someone I need.
"No, I'm good. Yaz and Vi are calling me," I say, pointing towards them.
"Greeat," Cindy squeals, jumping with too excitement and way too much cleavage. She yanks Jays arm and pulls him into the crowd towards the kitchen. I see him look back at me while she does so, and I give him a look of reassurement that I'm fine. What I get back confuses me. I dont know if his expression is angry, disappointed, or even satisfied.
But, I figure that I'm doing the right thing, since he's with one of the prettiest girls in school. A pain in my chest appears and I tell myself that it's not because of Jay. Jay is not a person I need. Only later do I come to know, that his distance away from me was the reason for it all.
