All That You Can't Leave Behind

The hero dies in this one

So I’m twenty-three weeks pregnant. It’s been a rough last three weeks. My skin has become itchy from the stretching and I am now having to put oil on it three times a day in hopes as to not have stretch marks. I would like to wear a bikini again after this. The lads picked the twins’ names to be Dysen James McGuiness and Declan Noah McGuiness after about an hour arguing over the names and how they weren’t getting named after any of the lads. Nathan said that we were naming Dysen after him though since his middle name is going to be James like his. I just told him to believe whatever he wanted. We got the car I was looking at a couple of days ago; well it’s more of an SUV.  These last few weeks Jay has been going out with the lads and his other mates almost every night and not coming home until the late AM. A few times he didn’t even come home, but at least I got a call from one of his band mates to say that he was crashing with them. I’ve been trying to be ok with it, but it hurts to know that he would rather hang out with his mates every night getting drunk instead of staying home with me the girl he supposedly loves and impregnated. I think the boys have been missing their daddy too because they have been kicking a lot lately. To make matters worse I’m hormonal and there have been a lot of stories in the papers and magazines lately about him and this girl. She’s some new and upcoming star that’s looking for her big break. I was trying to ignore this too since you can hardly ever trust the social media, but when I saw a magazine today at the store while I was buying new shoes because my feet are swollen; there right on the cover where a couple pictures of Jay from a couple of nights ago with the same girl hanging all over him, some with his arms wrapped around her, and even some where she didn’t have a shirt on. It’s sad to say but I lost it right there in the store. I was glad I had on a hat and sunglasses on to hide my identity. Ever since we went public with me being his girlfriend and the mother of his two unborn children the paparazzi has been following just as much as him. Dressing like this though usually throws them off my trail and I was glad that it worked today.

I was sitting on the couch still teary eyed when Jay came home. It was 4 AM and I had his bags packed and ready to kick him out and make him move back in with the lads. They were sitting at my feet, well the two of them that I packed were.

“Carter what are the bags for?” Jay asked as he walked into the living room after checking the bedroom and seeing that I wasn’t in there.

“You. I’m kicking you out. I would have gone, but if you couldn’t tell I’m pregnant so I can’t really get on a plane to go home now can I?” My voice showed the mixture of my anger and sadness.

“What do you mean? Why are you doing this?” He didn’t even sound sad, just confused.

“Because this isn’t going to work with you going out every night and drinking leaving me home alone. I know I’m not much fun since I’m getting towards the end of this pregnancy Jay, so if you didn’t want to do this anymore you could have at least told me.” I was back in tears.

“My going out with the lads has nothing to do with that. If you want me to stay home more than I will just tell the lads that I can’t always go out with them.” I he tried to compromise.

“Does she have nothing to do with it either?!” I yelled throwing the magazine I found today at him. “Face it Jay you already replaced me. Just watch it though or you won’t know how many kids you will end up with. Let me tell you child support is a bitch.” I said walking out of the living room and into our bedroom and locked the door. I could hear him throw a few things around and swear a lot before I heard the front door open and close. So this was it, he was gone and I’m going to become a single parent of twins while he’s off getting drunk and screwing that other girl. I guess Dysen and Declan McGuiness will now become Dysen and Declan Jones. So much for the whole in it together thing. It’s like he didn’t even pay attention to their song Warzone at all. Then again it isn’t like him to learn from his mistakes, I mean look how many times he’s been twitter jacked or he has lost his phone. I really should have expected this much. He’s famous and he can have anyone he wants, so why would he want me anymore when I’m starting to look like a whale?