Palestwinians.

Confession.

"And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter - they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small crampled dark inside you so long." - Sylvia Plath.

Dedicated to @foreverdreaming96 because she be my Palestinian homie. But seriously, insh'Allah me and you are reunited as sisters in Palestine, because you never know, we could be alive when Palestine is liberated. Love you ❤

~ Can I just say how much the comments on the last chapter made me laugh. A #teamZach and #teamAbdullah have been created already! You guys are too funny and I love you all! ❤

Chapter 17 - Confession.

Isn't it funny how we think that we have full control of time, when in reality, time has us wrapped around it's finger. We fool ourselves into believing we have all the time in the world to do everything and anything we possibly want to, as if even the next second is guaranteed. We plan and plan but we always forget there is One who is the best of planners.

It was also funny, how waves of philosophical, deep thoughts, always plagued me when I was attempting to study. I couldn't help it though; in only six months, my life had taken quite a drastic turn. It's as if life was trying to tell me, hurry up, you can't be young forever.

Starting uni at the beginning of this year was definitely the highlight, especially when it felt like I was in school for an eternity.

Three months ago I lost Ehab and only three weeks ago, I had nearly gotten killed myself. Sorrowful tears immediately burned in my eyes at the thought of a four year old deceased Ehab, but I blinked them away, assuring myself he was with the Most High now. 

Ramadan was only a week away.

And now I was familiarizing myself with a man who could possibly become my husband. The thought itself blew me away but I also knew anything could happen. It had been over two weeks since Abdullah and his families visit and they had been over four more times since then. Due to his work and the distance between our houses they could not visit as often as preffered. 

I leaned back against my chair and let loose my long, curly hair from it's bun, which was starting to give me a headache. As I massaged my scalp, I closed my eyes and recalled Abdullah's last two visits. Abdullah and I had sat in the kitchen alone both times, to get better acquainted with each other, without the eyes of the parents and annoyingly enough, Noah. He did come and sit with us once or twice but then mum would come in and give him 'the look' ie. 'get out before I burn you with my eyes' and he'd sigh before eventually leaving. 

As of yet, I hadn't experienced any major flaws in Abdullah that would entail me ending the relationship. He was sweet, kind-hearted and extremely gentle, something he must've inherited from his father, I realised. I couldn't help but wonder how he'd ever handle my controlling, aggressive side, if things really moved forward. God help him.

Yes, I actually pity people who have to deal with me.

Looking at the open psychology textbook infront of me, which read, 'Lifespan, health and resilience,' I couldn't help but scowl before getting up and walking towards my window. Pulling apart my dark magenta curtains, I opened up the window, allowing some fresh air to flow in. The weather was absolutely perfect at evening time; the temperature was just right, there was only a slight breeze which didn't agitate the trees in the least, and the dark night sparkled with it's magnificent stars. I crossed my arms and leaned my head against the sill, just absorbing the beauty that came with nature. 

My tranquil moment of peace was broken by Rida slamming the door open.

"Yasmineeee," she sulked.