Palestwinians.

Dependent.

"Call on your Lord when your heart is brittle, that is a time when it's in pieces and the Light of Allah (swt) can fill the gaps. That is why Allah (swt) is with the broken hearted." - Shaykh Hamza Yusuf.

Dedicated to @HijabiSoldier for putting up with my annoying ability of being picky regarding covers. And for being an avid supporter of this book! You're awesome!

~ If anyone is willing to make me a new cover please PM me. WARNING: I'm extremely picky.

~ Video on the side is the recitation of Surah Ad-Duha. Such an amazing surah and is correlated to curing depression. Have a listen to it, it's only a minute or so. 

Chapter 18 - Dependent.

I was rooted to my spot, staring at the empty space Zach had occupied only a few seconds ago. The tears were silently falling now and I could feel the lump in my throat grow in size. A whirlwind of emotions passed through my body, to the extent that I no longer knew what I was feeling. 

It was only when I felt two hands, one on my right shoulder and one on my left, squeeze me comfortingly, that I let out the sob that was almost chocking me. 

"Yasmine, are you OK?" Nadia's soft voice floated towards me and she attempted to hug me but I shrugged her off and walked into my room. I hated when people asked that. Couldn't they see I wasn't OK? Did one have to always explain themselves, even when it was plainly clear they could no longer maintain the fight? People would ask that question as if crying was unnatural and wrong. Didn't they realise, that in order to heal, one had to first expel the hurt and pain within them?

I ripped my jilbab off and pulled my skirt down throwing them anywhere out of my sight. I crawled onto the bed and clutched my pillow to my chest, curling my body into foetal position. I sobbed silently; I was never a 'loud' crier. I always thought that crying showed the most vulnerable and raw part of you, a glimpse into your soul, almost. It was the moment when your body and mind decided they absolutely could not handle the damage.

I felt two bodies lie down next to me, the warmth from the twins bodies making me feel slightly better. Without hesitation, I pulled the pillow closer to me and covered my face. I hated it when people saw me cry. 

I shed tears for an hour straight with one thought continuously drifting through my mind; one day, very soon, I would wake up and not have the privilege of seeing Zach. The fact that he wouldn't be walking with me to uni or sitting next to me in our history lecture. He wouldn't be there to give me the funniest birthday gifts. He wouldn't be there to gang up with me against Noah. 

The thought hurt way more than it should have. 

But more than that - the betrayal. I realised that it wasn't that he didn't ask or tell me of him applying to exchange that pained me. It was the fact that he wanted to leave, could leave, not only me, but all of us. 

I couldn't help but remember words he uttered to me, over six years ago. 

"I can't believe Noah did that to his teacher. That's just slack." Zach laughed, although his green eyes never lost sight of the neighbouring buildings. He would even look up at the sky once or twice.

"I reckon it was awesome. I asked Noah for some super glue too, cause I wanted to ensure Ms. Salameh never leaves her seat." His eyes briefly left his surroundings and landed on me, before he laughed out loud, his small dimples showing in the sunlight. 

"You're so evil Yasmine," he chuckled, ruffling his hair before he allowed his eyes to encapture our surroundings again.

"You know in the few months I've known you, I've noticed something." I pulled my own thick curls into a ponytail, especially since the heat was beginning to get ruthless.