The One

Oh no! **updated as of 2/18/21**

‼️hello! i just re-wrote this chapter so it is brand new! happy reading 💞‼️
And the "italics" are Clarke's thoughts!
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Clarke's pov

*2 weeks later*

It's been 14 days since Bellamy and the rest of my friends left me on this dying planet. 14 days. To say it has been miserable is an understatement. I'm sad and my heart aches for Bellamy. Staying away from him has never been easy but worlds apart? It's unbearable. I have strength in knowing that he loves me and will hold out for me. Oh, and you know what else I've been dealing with???

Constant sickness. Fatigue. Random pains. What is going on with me? I wake up every morning feeling sick. I began my journey to find the rover a few days after I found the map. I would have left sooner but this damn virus that I must have caught is preventing me from being able to adventure for long. My only food source has been bugs. Delicious right?

It took me a lot longer than expected but I was able to find the rover, and I had to hang around for a while to charge it up. It's not like I had anything else to do though. I am more bored than I even thought possible. I mean honestly is there really nothing for me to do out here? I guess the adjustment from the constant wars, to being left alone on a planet is taking its toll on me. It is kind of nice to not have the fear of being killed looming over my head all the time, but with the lack of food and water, I'm not sure how much longer I will last.

I have a routine pretty much down pat now. I wake up, drive and drive and drive the rover, charge it, look for bugs and pray for rain. It's not much but it has helped keep me on track. I don't really know what I'm hoping I will find as I drive around. All I know is that Bellamy would want me to. Oh Bellamy. I'm sure it's killing him not knowing if I'm trying to survive or not. He doesn't know if I gave up or not. I wonder if he knows I'm doing this for him. 

This virus is really slowing me down. I mean come onnnn. What makes someone throw up this much? It's pathetic honestly. The random pains in my stomach? I'm sick of it. What's next? I become pregnant or something? It's laughable really. I drive and drive for what seems like an eternity and boom! Absolutely nothing but dead trees and dirt. My life is so exciting! Notice the sarcasm?

I'm starting to feel very discouraged if I'm being honest. I don't know how much longer I can continue on this trek. This trek to what feels like nowhere. I'm growing so hungry and I'm so dehydrated I swear I will start hallucinating soon. I hope I hallucinate Bellamy. My spark is dying out and I need a miracle.

Waittttttt a second. When was the last time I had my period?

My heart stops at the sudden realization. How long has it been? 2 and a half months since Bellamy and I had se- woah woah woah. No dirty thoughts. Nope.
Have I had my period since? I realize that I haven't even considered pregnancy as the reason I'm so sick. It's hard to remember something as common as a period when the world is ending. Literally. My hands drop to my stomach. Granted, I wouldn't really be showing this early but I mean doesn't everyone do this?

I close my eyes and think back to what I studied on the ark when I was training to be a doctor. God that seems like ages ago. I know for sure that IF I am pregnant, Clarke you totally are, than my baby is about the size of a prune. Oh lovely. I need to breathe for a second because first of all, how on earth am I supposed to raise a baby all by myself? And second of all, how am I supposed to do this without Bellamy? He doesn't even know I'm pregnant. I break down into sobs immediately. He won't know until he comes home, but at least I have a piece of him here with me.

I'm feeling so many emotions at once it starts to become overwhelming. Terrified, exhausted, excited, anxious. Do I want a little boy, a mini Bellamy? Or do I want a little girl for Bellamy to love on? Oh definitely a little girl! I find peace in knowing that I will have a piece of Bellamy down here and I won't be alone anymore. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. But where are we going to live?

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Authors Note

Hope you are enjoying the updated version!
Also, keep in mind that Bellamy believes Clarke to be dead! Clarke thinks that Bellamy know she's alive.